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Woooow. No. The person who cheats doesn’t get to blame you. That’s THEIR fault. There are always other options than cheating. They should have had an open and honest conversation with you, and then if you didn’t make an effort then SO should have broken up with you. Cheating is never the other person’s fault! That being said, it can definitely put a strain. Both my SO and I are consultants and I’ve had to talk to him about making an effort to keep up communication and such. It’s all about being open with each other.
The reasons you mention are valid reasons for a relationship to end. However, they are NOT valid reasons as to why your SO cheated. The only real reason people cheat is because they are spineless and selfish.
Condolences OP
I’ll get judged for this, but that’s ok. OP, I derailed my relationship long ago by cheating. I didn’t blame them for screwing up, but to your post, I used some of those excuses as a crutch to try and say our relationship was in a bad place to try and explain away my mistake. The reality is I screwed up. Those things your SO points to could be very real, but those are the types of challenges that you tackle head on as a couple, and are not ok to justify why they did what they did. My SO and I were not married at the time, but we went through a long road to recover from my selfishness. And that is what it is, a selfish act. You are totally justified to break things off and never look back, I would not have blamed my SO at all had they decided to. This career is not an excuse for anyone, but it is a challenge that requires a lot of open conversation and trust in terms of personal life and relationships.
Yes. I broke up with a boyfriend of 7 years because ‘you’re away too much’ and ‘you work too hard’.
It was BS. He was in IB and couldn’t deal that I was out earning and out progressing him. He wanted a wife who’d be all ‘I’ll stay home and bake cookies’. That was never going to be me.
We broke up and I bought him out of our apartment. About 2 yrs later I met a man who loved and respected my ambition and my work ethic. We are a total team as a family and so happy.
Good luck with your new life x
+1 if a relationship doesn’t work then break up rather than cheat.