Hey y’all. How did you reconnect with your partner? My SO and I are in a rough patch and there’s definitely been some strain on our relationship recently. We both want to put in the effort to reconnect and make our relationship stronger. Any insight or experiences on how you have made progress would be greatly appreciated. Just looking for light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you ❤️

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Couples therapy can facilitate positively

likehelpful

The fact that you both want to work on your relationship is an incredible first step.

Therapy is a gamechanger. I’ve found that some therapists have started calling it “couples coaching” which seems to make it more approachable for some.

For reading / listening:
— the podcast “where do we begin” and anything by Esther Perel
— the book “the all or nothing marriage”. It really helped my relationship and how my boyfriend and I communicate.
— resources from the Gottmans and the Gottman Institute. Things like bids for connection and the four horsemen really opened my eyes

likehelpful

We both go to therapy individually so we’ve talked about doing some couples therapy. I see many positives in that! And I love the Gottmans! I actually shared with him their research on bids a few months back and that has stuck. We always try to acknowledge each others’ bids!

I haven’t tried this myself but heard that taking a walk and spending that time together (while getting some exercise and fresh air) can help. You may not talk at first but may start to open up and start sharing and having intimate conversations?? I hope you get to the light at the end of the tunnel.

likehelpful

He WFH and I’m hybrid so we’ve added in two walks a day just us, without the dogs, to release some stress and just chit chat. Been very good!

Whenever we go on a trip together it brings us closer. Sometimes we just need to get out of our normal routine and do something romantic or that we both enjoy. Also couples therapy

helpful

Therapy, take a trip together, volunteer together, date nights

helpful

Couples therapy, couples intimacy card games, travel, regular check ins. Communication is huge. Scheduled date nights and intimacy sometimes if your schedule doesn’t allow for spontaneity. Expressing gratitude. Relearning each others love languages. Joining a class together—cooking, paint/wine, workouts, etc.

helpful

Thank you everyone for your recommendations or sharing what has helped you! They really are so helpful and we’ll sprinkle in a few of these ideas ❤️ we’ve already started putting a few of these in motion and there’s definitely been progress.

I also just found a pod cast that has really helped, if y’all are interested. It’s called Pillow Talks by Vanessa and Xander Marin. Episode 64 drew me in!

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