Hi, Nadia!:) What's your perspective on white fragility? I'm a white immigrant who grew up shielded from racism in a homogeneous society and want to help white people deal with their fragility but...

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Oh, well, hello, Nadya. Great question. I usually stay clear of labeling anything as white fragility and not because I don’t believe it to exist, but more importantly—one, because as you said, it’s off-putting and non-solutions oriented and two, it’s the mirror image of ‘black aggression’ and for that reason alone, it’s counterproductive. That said, I do take great detail in architecting the blueprint of the tenor and tone of these conversations. How we talk about bias is tantamount to how we interrupt bias. These conversations are meant to expose our vulnerabilities as humans and as such, are supposed to be uncomfortable for everyone. As for your being white in this space, I’m all for allies who do this work and would encourage partnerships over a single narrative or narrator. I would add that for anyone who has the privilege of narrating a story that is not one’s own, to do so with a level of deference and humility. And I thank you for being honest and open.

likeupliftingsmart

Thank you so much. You're one of the few people I've encountered who openly agrees some of that terminology automatically invites a defensive reaction and thus stalls conversation at the outset.
I so completely agree with you about either avoiding or being extremely mindful of telling other people's stories in their stead so great clarifying point. I meant that I speak for my experience as a woman and especially as an immigrant but also as someone who had to actively adopt later in life also being white as an identity which for the first 20 years of my life wasn't part of my story and that has actually and ironically perhaps been extremely helpful for me to connect and interact and form real relationships with people of color because I was never "fragile" about or self conscious of being white hehehe. So maybe I can help white Americans deal with it better. At least I'm curious to try if it will make us all better humans
Thanks again, Nadia! I hope I get the pleasure of meeting you one day soon.

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...it seems the term itself makes them even more fragile/defensive so it kind of goes nowhere in terms of advancing race relations in the U.S. I'm a certified coach and would love to try and contribute to this conversation. I've noticed since I'm white it makes it easier for white people to hear it from me. But is that a crutch? Big topic, I know.

Thanks for sharing your perspectives!!

Nadya:)

Have either of you read the book? Its powerful.

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