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No such thing as a screw up in this context when you're invited to a wedding a mere single week before the date.

likesmartuplifting

YOP

If you didn't want to abide by the dress code, which I'm sure was clearly stated on the invite, you didn't have to attend. Showing up the way you did just makes you look like a clown / outsider with no social skills

likefunnyupliftinghelpful

EY3 it’s absolutely your right to feel that way about your wedding. It is not your right to project your beliefs on another couple. Having a wedding dress code is not new and the social etiquette around this is pretty well defined and understood. Formal is a very specific dress code but it is also not really over the top; this isn’t exactly black tie.

I really hope you don’t treat your hosts so disrespectfully in real life, if they’re kind enough to put the time and money into hosting you.

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What are you going to do if you have to attend a sudden funeral?

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Chinos, sneakers, formal shirt jk lol. Hopefully he learns from this experience!

likefunny

Pre 2020 stuff like showing up wearing the right clothes mattered. For elites not affected by the pandemic … ‘how very dare you not wear the proper attire! Plebeian!’

likefunny

Had a few folks like this at our wedding (who had more than a week notice). I didn’t really care - but I made sure EVERYONE gave them a hard time about it.

likefunny

You are fine, anyone that cares that much about being formally dressed at a wedding you don’t want to spend time with anyhow. Imagine a friend showing up to your house and you say “sorry you aren’t dressed well enough “. Something an awful person heading to divorce might say.

likefunny

I have a feeling no one invites you to parties.

It’s really fine - don’t overthink it

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There are some intense reactions in this thread!

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The fact of the matter is people judge you based on your appearance. You can accept that or not, but it doesn’t change it. Not dressing nice (or to a dress code) screams IDGAF and I probably wouldn’t think too highly of you.

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By the way every man on earth needs a suit for emergencies if nothing else. what if someone does and you have a funeral tomorrow?

The quickest suit is to just run to Zara get something quick cheap universal. I've done it same day for an unexpected client meeting.

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I’m sure it was passed over so long as you didn’t make a fool of yourself. The day wasn’t about you…

However, you might be the butt of a joke. Apologize, laugh about it, congratulate her, thank her again, and move on.

Not a big screw up but a nice lesson for you. Just go get a pair of dress shoes so you’re prepared for next time. They last a long time and you will need them again.

As someone that planned every detail of a wedding, the fact that you got an invite only a week out is a telling sign for a formal wedding. You were a 2nd or 3rd ring invite and that late in the game I would not (if I was the couple getting married) invite someone so late. It is hard to gather up formal attire so quickly to go with a wedding. So shame on them too.

Question was the invite verbal, did you get a formal paper invite? What did it say on the invite for attire? (Black tie, formal, semi-formal?.. nothing?)
Next time know, if you receive an invite for a wedding that close to the date of the event, be upfront and say I may not have time to get my attire in order before that and decline respectfully.

It is a fair assumption that any grown man owns a suit. We’re not talking about a $1500 tux here. Just keep a $200 Ralph Lauren in the closet.

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First, I'm old school. Formal is Tails and Top hat, semi formal is a tuxedo or smoking jacket, day wear is a suit & tie with dress shoes.

That said, if it really bothers you, get a couple of suits and dress shoe pairs. A grown up should have them for occasions which warrant them.

Or at least buy some nice lace up shoes that are not dress shoes, but look great with slacks and a sport coat.

If no one made any comments about you not wearing a suit, then don't worry. I live in California. Socks are rare for me, if I'm not on a client's site. So location makes a difference too.

Tbh, your nearest Goodwill will have decent suit, if you are so worried about your bank account.

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