Related Posts
Should I shave my beard for MBA interviews?
I am a Senior Consultant on EY’s Digital Forensics team. Our team has been growing rapidly recently and we are looking to hire some folks out on the west coast, specifically for our SF and LA offices. We are hiring at the Senior and Staff levels (including entry level positions in LA). If you are interested in learning more about EY Forensics or learning more the position feel free to reach out!
More Posts
Additional Posts in Consulting
Thinking about accepting a software engineering offer for BCG Digital Ventures . can anyone working there tell me about the work culture, learning opportunities, and exit opps . Im also interviewing with Zillow and am deciding wether to wait or take an offer. I’m really intrigued by the idea of building ventures and learning alot on the technical and entrepreneurial sides, but the opportunity to work for a tech unicorn is also very intriguing
Boston Consulting Group BCG Digital Ventures
Top 10 books to read about consulting life ?
Masters baby what a time
New to Fishbowl?
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.






Chief
No such thing as a screw up in this context when you're invited to a wedding a mere single week before the date.
YOP
If you didn't want to abide by the dress code, which I'm sure was clearly stated on the invite, you didn't have to attend. Showing up the way you did just makes you look like a clown / outsider with no social skills
EY3 it’s absolutely your right to feel that way about your wedding. It is not your right to project your beliefs on another couple. Having a wedding dress code is not new and the social etiquette around this is pretty well defined and understood. Formal is a very specific dress code but it is also not really over the top; this isn’t exactly black tie.
I really hope you don’t treat your hosts so disrespectfully in real life, if they’re kind enough to put the time and money into hosting you.
I mean it didn’t ruin the wedding, but I would probably own atleast one suit at all times that fits for situations like this
Or at least a pair of dress shoes and a coat, lol
the replies to this scream Americans
;)
Rising Star
Sorry but how do you not own formal shoes? Or even slacks? Go to Zara or Nordstrom Rack. It you’ve been working for 4 years there’s zero excuse for not showing up in a blazer, slacks and a $60 pair of Cole haans.
Rising Star
This. OP had a week not an hour.
This is why I make my kids dress for the occasion now so that when they become men, they’re not showing up to dinner in a wifebeater lol!!! Seriously at my sons middle school graduation, some boys were wearing dirty sneakers with a suit…. Why because they said they don’t own a pair of dress shoes. We were going out to dinner the other night and my son came out wearing yeezy slides…..nope! Sent him right back inside to change into casual sneaker shoes. I get it, they want to be comfortable and don’t see the reason to dress up. There’s a time and place for sweats, basketball shorts, slides etc. not at a wedding, restaurant, church, school etc.
This is the way 👍🏼
Sounds like you won't be invited to her second wedding. Oh well.
Husbands brother brought a girl who showed up in jeans to my wedding. It was at a fancy hotel. So there’s at least one mess up worse than yours.
My now SIL wore a white dress to my wedding because my husband told her our main color was white. It didn’t really register with me until after we got our pictures though.
No one cares about you. They forgot. It was their wedding.
Not ideal for under dressing but I agree, you will be forgotten.
These replies are so sad. None of this matters.
How did you act at the wedding? We’re you sociable and fun to be around or did you hide in a corner?
That’s all that matters.
Nope. We’re more concerned with what the bride and groom are concerned with.
I mean you really just embarrassed yourself. It’s not like you ruined the wedding or anything. But also, you said you don’t have anything formal to wear because you haven’t had a formal event in 4 years. Well now you have a formal event….Why didn’t you just go buy some stuff?
You most certainly were NOT “looking good” in a tie with chinos and sneakers lmao.
Chief
Depends if the invite specified a dress code. If so, and you decided to ignore it, that’s terrible - you should have just declined. If not, then it’s not the best, but also not your fault
First, i will say you got invited ONE WEEK before, which is nuts and a little rude.
I will ALSO say that every guy should at least have a nice pair of slacks and blazer on his closet, plus a pair of dress shoes and belt that matches. You should be able to do the whole slacks/jacket/dress shoes thing (with or without tie) without a whole lot of thought.
I had a couple show up at my evening wedding in jeans and sweaters. I was thrilled they came from 9 hours away to be there and celebrate with us. End of story.
Rising Star
Seems like you both made an oversight - because wedding lists are always finalized months in advance so it seems like their invite was an afterthought just like your outfit.
I’d say don’t worry about it, I don’t remember what folks wore to my wedding- nor do I really care.
I think chinos, shirt and tie is fine in a pinch. But you should have bought formal shoes. It’s pretty obvious not to wear sneakers to a wedding. It’s good to own a pair anyway for occasions like this that come up from time to time. And it takes an hour to go to the store and get some, not like a suit which is legitimately time consuming to buy. (Although suit rental does exist exactly for stuff like this)
Chief
Was a suit+tie dress code listed on the invitation? If so, yes, you screwed up.
If no such dress code was listed, you're fine.
Regardless of what anyone else says, you know you screwed up a little here, otherwise you wouldn’t have asked. Most people have a tiny little voice inside them that tells them when they’re doing the right thing, eating the right thing, saying the right thing etc. We just don’t listen to it very often or let it get drowned out by other stuff. Like someone said, it’s not fatal but just try listen to the little voice next time.
A last minute invitation is something that I would most likely decline for many reasons. I don't take weddings lightly. I don't attend things where I'm on the D list, afterthought, waitlisted, whatever. Either I know and love these people deeply and am all in, or I'll just politely rsvp no.
Not having the right clothes and being unable to get them in time is also a perfectly good reason not to go, but DON'T SAY THAT just say you are busy.
Since this is in the past and you already showed up underdressed the best thing you can do is to send a thank you note to the couple (separately or together with your gift) casually apologizing for being underdressed on short notice but how happy you were to be invited. Just mention it and then forgive yourself and let it go. And be more savvy next time.
I agree. But I would absolutely say I may not be able to coordinate in time. I am a planner however and I’ve asked what colors are the wedding so I do not clash (or match too much) with the wedding party. Everything needs to be freshly cleaned & pressed. So a week or less isn’t much time to prep for formal events and have work.