How do you bring up the conversation of a prenup to your SO

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If you and your SO aren’t comfortable discussing this tough topic, it might be an indicator that you’re not ready to get married. Gotta get everything out on the table before you commit to the rest of your lives together.

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Why? Wanting a prenup is assuming you don’t trust rhe person you are marrying with, even in a divorce situation. I would trust my wife would not want to take shit away from me even if we to divorce. But I am not planning for the possibility of divorce, which is why I married her.

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A prenup means you are beginning a marriage knowing it will end up in divorce, and secondly means that when that divorce happens you also know you can’t trust she will accept a fair distribution of things.

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D2: Your view is the equivalent of saying that wearing a seatbelt is admitting that you are likely to crash. Divorce is a messy, complicated, expensive business. Not having a prenup adds to the confusion and prevents parents/relatives from making their estate plans. There are nearly infinite reasons that one would want to set up a prenup

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She brought it up with me. “Hey, I think we should get a pre-nup”. This isn’t going to fail. But if it does, let’s make sure we don’t end up fighting about money at the end.” We’ve amended it since then, as circumstances changed.

Having been through the alternative, I’ll take this path

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@D2: that is a terrible read of what a prenup is on all counts

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Unless you come from family money and/or are truly wealthy, prenups just mean you really shouldn't be getting married. If you're net worth is upwards of 7 figures, I can see it. If you think 200k a year makes your future spouse untrustworthy, find another future spouse...

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You don’t

Ask your lawyer

That’s a hard one. I did not do it but did think about it. How I was going to phrase it was, “I love you and I believe we will be together forever. But the fact is, 50% of marriages end in divorce and I have personally witnessed this with my parents who I love and respect. I think we should be clear before we go down the path of marriage our path forward should it not go the way we both want."

Bring it up well before the proposal...gotta gauge the reaction... I had way more debt than wife so it didn’t matter

Ugh, this is a tough one. The sooner the better. I think it is best to have as part of a broader discussion of financials

List both your assets and liabilities, and have an honest discussion. In my case Wife has family money (where as I have none) but my income potential is higher — used it as a justification. Did the prenup with a common lawyer to reduce friction and iterations.

If 50% of marriages end in divorce, everyone would be divorced in two years. The number of divorce cases completed in court is half the number of marriage licenses in county / state offices. Lots of reasons could affect this, like changing demographics and culture changes.

*your... Spell check...

If you're like George Costanza, it won't be a problem when you bring it up!

You should ask your divorce lawyer.

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