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If you set reasonable boundaries and they’re not respected, you probably have to resort to limiting contact. Although I would question why your husband is afraid of his own mother - it sounds like there’s a need for therapy there for him to deal with that. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this - she sounds like a very difficult person.
My husband is afraid of his mother as well, so I stand up for myself now she blocked me and does not want us to visit her or to come to our house lol…this is what I call a happy ending lol
It's important that you stand up for yourself. Not only with her but with your husband. He is an adult and needs to understand that his mother may be mean but you are his now and future, that anyone treating you like that should not be allowed and as your partner he needs to be by your side while you stand up to her. My mother is the same way and I took action to my own hands and I haven't spoken to her in 5 hears. I'm happy and healthy and healing.