How do you feel about not being a part of coworkers hanging out outside of work? I was eavesdropping on a discussion a bunch of people were having yesterday about meeting up this afternoon at a restaurant near my home. I almost want to crash and make them feel guilty for not inviting me, but I see how petty that is. How do you shrug off the fact that you're feeling really left out?

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How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? After 30 most employees would be relieved to have little to do with their coworkers outside of work

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Do you actually like these people and would you want to be there if invited? If not, just ignore. If you do, think about how to become part of the group. You could even invite everyone to something.

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The temptation to crash or guilt-trip is real, but I try to remind myself that sometimes these plans aren’t meant to exclude, people just forget, or it’s a casual thing. I usually focus on the fact that work friendships take time, and there’ll always be other chances to connect. Deep breaths and planning my own fun works wonders!

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I don't care to be at places where I'm not wanted anymore - it's not worth it to force your way in by going anyways either, because it just feels like you're trying to prove yourself to people who likely didn't want you there to start with.

I just see it as less expenses now. Your coworkers are typically not your friends if you ever quit, too, so wouldn't think too much into it.

Edit: I was in your shoes before. I learned the hard way. Don't let them live rent-free in your head. Hang out with your actual friends.

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I'd rather do my own thing. I've seen too many times where you either just talk about work.....or something you say in confidence gets thrown back at you at work.

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I’m so sorry! This would hurt my feelings. I’m lucky to have huge generational gaps at work so folks that hang out on the weekends vs don’t make sense without seeming exclusive

Does this happen often? It depends if you hang out with them a lot at work as well too. Maybe it was intentional but also could be that they didn’t think you’d be interested, try and spend more time with them at work and see about the next time

My favorite experiences are usually on a one on one vs group. Is there any anyone at work that you feel like you connect with that you could go to lunch or whatever?

Just ask openly if anyone wants to grab a coffee. No obligation for anyone to actually go, but sometimes people like the walk and you get some nice casual conversation in.

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I prefer it. I don't go to the office. Remote 100%

You could say you live close and could stop by for a drink and if they act surprised then you'll make your own friends somewhere else.

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