How do you transition into parenthood after being an agency overachiever? I’ve built my reputation on being available for anyone, pitching in wherever asked. I don’t plan on sustaining this ‘open 24/7’ lifestyle when I have young kids, wouldn’t be fair. I worked this hard to set myself up financially/career wise knowing kids would slow things down, but as we are now TTC, I’m concerned about how I rebrand myself and set expectations. I’m creative director level btw, my title is wrong on here.

Normalize working normal hours. We are cogs. The C-suite didn’t get to where they were by doggedly performing tricks until
2am and panting and pleading for a pat on the head. They went to college with some other white guy and got their job because their dad/uncle/brother was in the business.

We can exert ourselves and never see our family or friends...or live your fucking life and set boundaries and not let these antiquated “being available at 7am” mantras cloud your vision.

We make ads. We sell products. We don’t save lives or even rescue kittens from trees. Why does this industry have such inflated ego and think what we’re doing requires sacrificing sleep, family, and precious time?

It doesn’t. And believe me, when you’re 90 and thinking back on life you’re not gonna be like “man, I wish I had sacrificed MORE weekends to put the finishing touches on that deck for the Toilet Paper/Sneaker/Airline/Car Insurance pitch”.

I struggled with this, so I get it. It’s amazing how productive and efficient you become with your time, because you have to. Moms are efficiency ninjas.

It’s hard, and a learning curve, but you learn to set boundaries.

I was an overachiever before having my baby. I had my mind set on being the same, but life had other plans and struggling with PPD with an unsupportive boss made my life hell! - I was literally asked if I could go back to being the person I was before baby, because mom-me was just delivering vs. going above and beyond, and I had spoiled them before.
This happened during the first year of my baby’s life and I was miserable feeling like a bad mom all the time and struggling to be recognized at work as “the same”. I ended up leaving the company and I’m so glad I did. The problem wasn’t all on me! I’ve set up a new manageable standard of work, which still leans to overachieving, but it’s more about the quality of what I deliver vs. the time or amount. I worry less about format and more about content, less about delivering early and more about checking in constantly to show progress, and I’m shining based on my latest super positive evaluation. Moving jobs was the best I could do, because I had not yet set a super high standard, which leaves room for growth. I’m still turning in high quality work, I’m available when needed except from 6-8pm and that is respected, and I’m able to feel like a good mom and a good employee. Best of luck to you!

I feel you. I have two kids and told myself I wouldn’t continue working like this as a mom, but frankly it’s a personality issue for me. I try and set boundaries, but still cave to the need to feel like I am not being overlooked. I struggle to hold on to the reputation and position I’ve worked so hard for and I am too scared to fade into the background.

I still work crazy hours and am all in when needed, BUT I’ve set strict boundaries that I leave everyday at 5 to pick up the kids and I’m not checking emails from 5-8:30 because that’s my time with my kids. If it’s an emergency they can text me, but people are hesitant to bother me knowing this rule and have only reached unless it’s a true emergency. Once the kids are in bed I hop back online and work as needed. I find I’m more efficient and I also am better at prioritizing work.

It becomes quality over quantity. At times I am envious of my childless colleagues that can start work at 7 am and just focus on work. However, I’ve been able to establish myself to deliver verbally vs a comprehensive written document. I focus on the must haves vs. nice to haves to make more impact in less time.

I also think about the fact that in the realm of my career, this is a short window. I plan on killing it for another 15-20 years and as my kids get older I have more time for work.

I have struggled with this for sure. Pre-kids, I thought nothing of pulling a 12-14+ hour work day. I now have 2 kids (5 and 2) and have been promoted twice (to Director and now VP) in the last 4 years. You can still achieve, but you do need to establish boundaries. Easier in some departments than others, of course. I still work 50-60+ hour weeks, but not all the time - and I keep dinner/bedtime (5-8p) off limits as best I can. I don’t mind getting back on later, but my kids and husband need me, and I need time with them. It’s one of the reasons I’ve turned down remote jobs on the West Coast when I’m on the East Coast - that time is sacred for me!

It is so hard. I’m on number 3 and I will say it gets easier but it’s always an intricate balancing act. My advice:
-Wherever you are, be there. If you’re with the kids put the phone down. If you’re working, focus and get it done. Trying to be two things at once all the time is exhausting and futile.
-Stop letting work rule your life. I worked way too much with my first and it makes me so mad/sad to reflect back on that time. You will regret giving so much to the job. You won’t regret cuddling with your six month old.
-Make calendar public. We need to normalize working parents in this business, especially in creative roles. When you block of your calendar for a kid thing, let everybody know it. “Taking David to dentist” “Josie’s school play.”
-Draw a line. Take the hours of 5-8 to be with your family and you can get back online after. Sure, “emergencies” will pop up but for the most part clock out for a bit. It sets a good example and gives you time with your family. If I don’t see my kids each night, what is the point of all of this?!
-There’s always another team, another client or another job. Don’t live in fear of getting fired or screwing up because you’ll find a new job. Also, you’re not going to get fired.
-Think like a man. You’re amazing and they are lucky to have you. And ask for a raise.

Ah! Following. I could’ve written this post myself 😅 and I’m heading back to work after my first maternity leave in a few weeks.

Boundaries are key and a major life change is a great time to set them. I’m a chronic overachiever too. The truth is, time spent working outside of 9-5 becomes time that’s being taken away from your kids. I’m pretty clear with my teams that 5-730p is off-limits, as it’s the few hours I get with my kid each day. If I need to sign back on after that, I do.

I use my calendar and have found that boundary setting is a quality people really respect and admire. I use the settings to insert my work hours as 8-5am in my time zone (which is something I tell everyone on my team to do b/c we live in different time zones and we try to honor time zones as much as possible, with some flexibility when planned in advance or confirmed). I block the first 30 minutes of my mornings every day for prep/email. I also add the time I pick up my kids from school and daycare and really anything business or personal, using different colors for business/personal/development (webinars, workshops, etc.). I keep two separate 2 hour long blocks for uninterrupted work/projects on Wed & Fri (repeating each week) that I also use as my go to for scheduling doctors appointments or whatever for the kids since it’s almost guaranteed I don’t actually have any meetings at that time. My calendar is my always up to date and consistent and I’ve realized that people appreciate the dependability and healthiness of that over me being available whenever. One thing to remember is that when you work outside of regular business hours it subconsciously (or even consciously) influences others to feel pressured to as well, which may not be great for culture or employee retention. How much you feel comfortable trying to influence culture depends on a lot of things. Regardless, setting expectations and keeping them means people can count on you on a whole different level than just being able to service them 24/7. I 100% get the pressure though. I’ve felt similar things in the past, plus Idk about you but I also felt pressure to work 10x harder than the men around me to have the same level of perceived success. Boundary setting when you’re trying to crash the glass ceiling is even more difficult - throw in being under resourced and you can find yourself very burnt out.

You realize what actually matters, have confidence that you’re awesome and don’t have to prove it all the time, align on priorities (immediate promotion or less stress), and potentially ask yourself if the crazy hours are actually required? I am amazing at my job and occasionally work over the weekends or late nights if my team has to, but mostly just have cut off times and do what I can before then and commit to as little as possible and never raise my hand. It’s amazing how much less I do and agree to deliver and yet I still think I’m doing just as good a job or better because I focus on what matters and don’t offer anything else except to support my team.

Set boundaries now, and hold your colleagues to the same expectations. With or without kids, this mindset is unsustainable and does not produce better work.

Set boundaries that allow you time with your family. Understand that children hit several milestones at different stages in the early years of 0-5. You won’t fade if you are a CD level in that time and you want to come out of those early years with no regrets. I did daycare and ultimately accepted that they are part of “the village” that it takes to raise a family. I was ok with that. I have become a role model for my children who are dedicated to remote learning now and we are dead serious when it’s offline family time. Lastly, ask for help- I’m talking Fresh Direct, Alexa, Meal subscriptions, cleaning service and laundry drop off. You do not have to do it all yourself!