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There is definitely a transition period. The first 3 months or so with the new baby I felt like I was missing time with my toddler. But it gradually got better and now baby is almost 6 months and things are a lot better and we just all do things together. Like tummy time with baby in the evening is also playtime with toddler and we all interact and spend time together. There are definitely some “divide and conquer” moments where we each take one kid for whatever reason, but most of the time we are just all a family together.
Thanks for sharing!
Just had my second kid and this was a big fear of mine but so far, we are making an effort to do things together and it’s working plus I get to see the first kid a little more during mat leave which is a nice plus.
It was harder for us on baby two but a big part of that was my husband was back in office 3 days a week vs completely remote mid pandemic with the 1st.
As someone said before, we all play together after dinner. Our second goes to bed about an hour before the first, so that gives us some 1:1 time as well. We also rotate who does bedtime for each kid each night.
about to be in the same boat and have the same concerns. I don’t know if this is going to work yet but we are being very proactive in communicating to our 3 year old that it’s going to be different. She’s excited but we will see how it goes.
We have also prepared a little better for our second by purchasing services with a Duola, have a nanny lined up, and we have babysitters lined up so that we can spend time with each other and our toddler. It’s definitely a cost but we want to make sure that we spend the money to preserve the time with our first born.
Youre not alone on this but I wish you the best! And congrats on baby #2! That’s a blessing and something to celebrate (don’t forget that)
Thanks so much, really helpful!
Rising Star
As an only child I had the same concerns. My youngest is 15 mos and the oldest is 4. It is the younger one that gets less time for now given he naps more and goes to bed earlier. We got a nanny for now so he could have more love during the day while the oldest is at daycare.
The funniest part is that no 2 can’t wait to play with his sister when she comes home. Them playing together is such a joy to watch. Dad and I are sometimes chopped liver.
Everyone will figure it out by doing their best, as they have forever. You’re going to be fine :)
I tried to include my first son in things when the second one came. My first was very hurt and jealous to learn he’s sharing mom and dad. He’d pout and tear up when i nursed for example. My husband took him to Sears after about a week of that and had him pick out a doll. He’d sit next to me w his doll baby while I nursed his brother lol. The other thing I did after a few months was take him out by himself 1-2x a week; a nice stroll, ice cream, the park, etc. The place never really mattered, it was the time together that meant everything to him. As he adjusted everything just got easier. Then we had a 3rd which was our last.