I had a conversation with a cousin whose daughter is about to marry a woman who say she “is not a feminist.” How does a woman who is taking advantage of her own finances, he own career, and a marriage that has only become possible in the last decade, say that she is “not a feminist”? My cousin asked the question in a text, but has not gotten a response. Any thoughts, please?

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Is being independent your definition of being a feminist? Maybe the word feminist has a different meaning to your cousin.

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Most people are confused about what feminism means. Many people think it means matriarchy and oppression of men (essentially, reversing our current patriarchy that oppressed women) and don’t understand it’s about equality. Further, all of us, even women who partner with other women, are both victims of and perpetuators of patriarchy. Lots of women spurn feminism because patriarchy spurns feminism.

likesmart

*oppresseS. Present tense!

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Some of the old school definitions of feminism have a lot of baggage. Also maybe she feels like she's not an active feminist out protesting and taking a lot of social action, she's just who she is. She just doesn't realize that she actually is a feminist, but that's okay let her come to that realization on her own.

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Why would that mean she *is* a feminist?

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*Unpopular opinion… not trying to upset anyone with my answer or purposely be controversial but just giving you the perspective you’re asking for*

To the average person my life appears hyper-feminist — I’m a female sales manager in a male-dominated industry with a lovely stay-at-home husband. I’m the bread winner, the go-getter, the girl boss…but I am not a feminist. I think traditionally progressive feminists in the work place tend to be toxic and disrespectful of men. Women in the workplace now have more advantages than men and modern feminism only seeks to push women ahead based on gender rather than merit. I’ve experienced worse treatment from women in the work place than any male coworkers or bosses. It’s not that I think feminism is inherently bad, but I immediately think of extremely toxic traits (including entitlement) when I hear the word.

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Just means she doesn't identify with what the term represents in this age, period. She's working because she loves her parents or family and doesn't want to become much of a burden. I hope this helps

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