I have one client who treats every tiny request like a five-alarm fire. A missing signature becomes a meltdown, a routine update becomes a crisis call. Trying to match their urgency is draining, but ignoring it feels risky. Their stress becomes my stress, and it’s ruining my week. How do you manage a client’s panic without absorbing it yourself?

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People like this need to feel heard. Try repeating back their concerns to them, calmly but not dismissively—you can reflect back the sincerity of their concerns without taking on their panic. Explain why the issue du jour is perhaps not ideal but is well under control and will be handled on a timeline that makes sense. These people are also feeling dysregulated and out of control, and many will visibly relax when they feel heard and reassured that they’re in good hands.

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This. I do family law so this is basically all of my clients all the time. “I understand why you are upset” goes a long way.

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Become more panicked than them, panic so hard they’ll think you’re being ridiculous and then they’ll calm down.

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Psychologically, only one person in a pair can be breaking down at a time, so this may actually work. 🤣

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My boss thinks that the only way to get 100% out of people is to create fake urgency and ask for things that are impossible (either illegal or operationally impossible), because he thinks if he asks for 100%, he’ll get 80%, but if he asks for 150%, he’ll get 100%. I just realize it’s mostly fake and don’t play the game. Smile and nod.

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Make em think you’re doing 110% when you’re really at 60%…

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Have you tried recommending a Xanax and a glass of wine?

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I remind myself that we're not saving lives and many mistakes can be remedied.

It also helps that I find that people who panic unnecessarily or overreact are annoying.

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I’ve worked with nuts clients before and sometimes we just don’t engage right away. We’ll send a prompt email like, “Thank you for letting us know. We will take a look at this and follow-up. If you would like to talk, I’m wide open tomorrow afternoon.” Sometimes letting something lie for a 1/2 day or whenever can turn the temperature down.

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Is your client my former boss? He still stresses me out and I’ve been gone almost three years.

Seriously though — what I’ve found for those I work with frequently is that if I’ve built trust with them already, they’ll listen when I say something isn’t a big deal. Sometimes, we have to be the calm and steady voice of reason in a situation and not become reactive just because our clients are panicking.

I usually try to lay out exactly what we’ll do to address step by step and give timelines on when that’ll be done. Usually, that’s enough to ease their panic — it means more time for me explaining stuff, but it’s also important for building that trust for next time.

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I usually just stand firm in my timelines if I know it isn’t truly an emergency. Set your boundaries like “this will take x time, but will make sure that it gets done so that you have ample time to *review, or other action*” but only if it’s true.

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Set clear expectations and then continuously meet them. If you say you will have it done by X day, it must be done by then. They will eventually learn to trust you. Communicate frequently and in the manner they prefer (text, call, email).

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Hi fishes!

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Java + azure Yoe 4.3

1. CGI (18.6 F + 90 VARIABLE)

2. SAPIENS (18.5 FIXED + 1.5 VARIABLE) 1L JB

3 LTI (18.1 F + 1 V )

3 HTC global (17.5 fixed + 1.5 variable)
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