I’m 8 weeks pregnant via IVF. I have a 3 year old boy. My husband has been out of a job for almost 10mo and thus my job has become increasingly important. We’ve also been struggling… emotional some physical abuse due to his inability to control his drinking. After finding out I was pregnant I retained a lawyer. I told myself I could do this by myself even pregnant. However I’ve been so sick, recently had to go to the ER for fluids. Can’t keep anything down & I’ve had to take off work bc (cont’d)

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Do you have any family that could come and help during this really challenging time? I think you need to prioritize your and your son’s safety and you cannot remain with someone who is abusive.

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This

I would get an abortion and give my 3 year old the very best.

You’re currently struggling with your relationship, your health, physical and mental.

If you’re gonna go through with it, please be realistic and conservative of how awful this experience is going to be on everyone, specially your baby boy.

You’re gonna be pregnant without support.
Mental and physical abuse.
Is your husband going to help around the house or are you gonna carry all of that as well? Mental load?
Are you going to be able to prioritize baby boy on top of everything, including yourself during the pregnancy??
Is your husband an active dad? If not, who is gonna help?
What about postpartum? Maternity leave? Do you need to go back asap in order to keep you insurance?
Will both little ones end up suffering from the choice of having another with an irresponsible man?

Anyways, it’s your decision. Good luck.

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Thank you for this. I did make my decision and I’m prioritizing my son through everything. Appreciate your kind words.

Crazy question but I’m trying to understand your thought process of going through IVF with an abusive partner with no job?

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I am. My marriage isn’t with someone physically abusive (that was my previous LTR, my ex fiancé who I luckily broke up with weeks before our wedding), just super clueless, some boundary issues, non malicious and trauma induced gaslighting and complete inability to be a partner. We are separated but he’s working on it and I’m just taking it day by day. It’s really, really hard. I constantly wish I could go back in time and just get back on the pill a couple weeks earlier.

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Omg, how awful! I really hope and pray that things get better for you soon. 🙏🏿 Please prioritize your wellbeing...you should not be putting up with any form of abuse (especially physical) in this delicate state.

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Because I can’t concentrate due to how sick I feel. I’ve lost 7lbs and I’m already at a low bmi (17). I’m feeling so confused and lost because I just don’t know if I can carry on like this without a support system. My husband knows I want a divorce and has been “trying” but I’m just over everything I’ve been through. What do I do? If I end the pregnancy I am scared I’ll regret it forever but I legit don’t know how I can carry on being a working mom at this point.

First trimester is awful, but it is temporary. Hopefully you will feel better soon and you will get through this awful sick feeling. Sending you so much strength

You can do it and you’ll make it to the other side, you’ll get through the first trimester. You seem like you have so much strength, don’t let it break you. Sending you lots of hugs 🫂

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