Related Posts
Community Builder
Pro
Rising Star
Conversation Starter
Coach
More Posts
Coach
Coach
Pro
Sooo who’s working on Pfizer’s covid vaccine?
Is the CVA exam worth pursuing?
Additional Posts in We're Pregnant!
I’m 26 weeks pregnant and trying to figure out my leave. I live in NJ and work at PwC, any fishes know the policy for NJ and PwC? The leave center has not been much help and I want to plan NOW not like 60 days before. I was told NJ gets two weeks before due date and PwC gives you two weeks as well.
Conversation Starter
Conversation Starter
Conversation Starter
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Mom of 3 here. I would say I felt a little more human around 3 months ( anything under that is just a marathon of feeding and diapers, and I didn't want to see anyone) if they want to come help keep the house tidy and help ME before that awesome, but for "baby time" they can come after 3 months, and for vaccinations after 6 month is a good timing baby will have had lots of vaccines by then and be a little stronger.
People can be a little rude (maybe out of excitement) but they didn't deliver the baby so I didn't feel obliged to wake up the baby just so they can have a peek. I once had a friend drop by while my newborn was sleeping, she kept saying isn't she up yet?? Because she came to see the baby but the baby was sleeping and I told her I didn't want to disturb her, she was annoyed that she had to wait... but as a mom of a new born, I was enjoying my 15 minutes of relaxing, since new borns are demanding.. I had no intention on putting my guests's needs over my baby's and mine... this attitude may be harsh but it comes after experience. At the end of the day they just want to say they got to see or hold the baby.. but I am the one with the baby all day and night, everyday... so I get to set the rules.
For travel, our first domestic flight was at 6 months youngest, and international 8 months youngest. But safe locations nothing with malaria, high COVID risk, etc..
Love how you described the book!
One thing my boss told me that helped me feel better about boundaries with visiting family: If you’re breastfeeding, you’re that baby’s life support. If you’re stressed, it will affect the baby. So set whatever boundaries are necessary to have the environment you need to thrive.
Yes! And to add to this: I unfortunately struggled hard with breastfeeding in the first 8 weeks. My mother in law flew in from Europe and stayed with us for a week, and it was terrible. I was sleep deprived, emotionally in a terrible place with my triple feed plan to try to increase my breastmilk supply...having that extra visitor 24/7 just did not help how I was feeling. I was in no mood for small talk and pleasantries and she ended up feeling unwelcome. In retrospect I wish she had waited until later to visit.
This is going to vary a lot by person. I’m an introvert and generally don’t enjoy big gatherings so my perspective was shaped by that…
Visitors - under 2 months we asked everyone (except moms who were staying with us) to mask and wash hands as well as get tdap, flu, Covid shots. If they get a fever under 2 months they need to go to the emergency room so that’s why
We had my mom and then my MIL stay with us immediately after the birth. That was a huge mistake. I knew I didn’t want this but was afraid to speak up / didn’t think it’d be as bad as it was. I had a c section and had trouble breastfeeding and it was not great having an audience in my very small home.
Trips - we did a 4 hour road trip at 3 months to see family which was not fun and I do not recommend. Again, I allowed stupid family pressures to get in the way. We flew with her for the first time at 6 months for an international trip. It was hard because of the time difference but think it would have been fine if it was a shorter flight
I’m rooting for you! Just remember that what’s best for you is best for your baby so take care of yourself
I visited (flew 2 hrs) my grandma with dementia when baby was 3 months but I was about to move further away and just wanted her to see him.
Baby is 6 months old now and in my grandmas mind I left him overnight at her house and they had a good time. In reality I left him in the living room with her for 10-15 minutes while me and my aunt ate dinner in the next room. I’m glad she has a good memory of him though, worth the trip.
Conversation Starter
I had visitors after 2 weeks. For me if I don't see or talk to outside world I feel as if I am
missing something .... friends came and visit the baby.. we ordered food and had a chit chat beyond diapers and feeding.... it helped me keep my sanity in check.... first 3 months are hardest but with support from parents, husbands and friends we made it through. They used to wear masks for sure and we took her out after 2 month vaccination.
Same here I will be so depressed if I dont socialize
There are so many things happening in those first few weeks. You’re likely still bleeding, may be recovering from major surgery, will likely still be figuring out feeding and sleep and a new relationship dynamic and your hormones will be all over. Breastfeeding is challenging even with the most preparation, and bottle feeding ends up with tons and tons of dirty dishes. My advice would be to only plan to allow visitors who you feel comfortable with giving tasks, and who you wouldn’t feel weird about accidentally seeing a boob. You will need to be on baby’s time for the first few weeks (mine is over a year now and we’re still on his schedule lol), so visitors will need to respect and expect that. Set boundaries in advance about what you’re comfortable with (hand washing at the least, vaccination, masking, holding the baby). I honestly wasn’t ready for anyone who wasn’t my husband to hold the baby for maybe 4 weeks, and even then was only able to let him go for a little bit.
We waited to travel until he had his first vaccines at 3 months.
From another perspective, we had friends over 3 weeks after our daughter was born. They stayed outside and masked if indoors and they didn’t hold her until eight weeks. In terms of flying, the pediatrician said she was fine after 3 months for short flights and after the 4 month shots for long flights so that’s what we did.
Baby can get their immunizations at 2 mo. We will have anyone visiting before then get the Tdap shot before visiting.
Rising Star
We told family to wait to visit us until after two weeks. Our earliest visitor was my in-laws. They visited at 3w and stayed for a week. We had them make sure they were updated on TDAP, flu, and COVID. We let them hold her and help with diaper changes, but it was pretty clear that they would be on the baby’s schedule.
We held off on having any friends stop by the apartment to hold her until 2 months after she got her first round of shots.
We decided to drive for any trips rather than fly to avoid exposure. But we were told to wait until 3 months to travel.
Rising Star
Totally understand. We drove from NYC to the Midwest and it was a 3 day ordeal. While it went really well, it takes a TON of planning and patience. And at the end of the day, doing what is best for you and for family is all that matters.
I’m currently pregnant with baby #2 but baby #1 was born in the height of the pandemic when vaccines were just being released in phases. My mom came immediately to help for a few days and throughout the next few weeks my SILs came around 6 weeks which I regretted because I was battling cluster feeding and PPD/PPA and “wasn’t all there” as one of my SILs said. Both sets of families were up to date with their flu and TDAP shots. I didn’t have visitors (friends) until about the baby was 4-6 weeks but they were short visits around 30 mins to an hour max, and they always brought food for us which was always appreciated.
I’m so introverted and I was too proud to ask for help/task people to support. This time around, I’m going to accept all forms of help. My mom and sister will be here immediately after we get back from the hospital as they are taking care of baby #1 (now a toddler) and our dogs. I’m thinking no earlier than 2 weeks at the soonest for visitors (but hopefully later than sooner because I’m not going to be dressed up and my milk bags are going to be out since I’m going to try nursing again).
We traveled by train at 8 months and by plane at 10 months.