Just turned 20 and realized I suck at making meaningful social interactions and just making friends in general. My best friend is my SO. I’m in my senior year of school and interning at the same time and feeling a bit down since I have major social anxiety and can’t seem to connect with my peers in college. Any hope for me once I’m in full-time?

likefunny
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Meh. I only have one friend from college. The rest are people I’ve met along the way. As you get older and what you believe and want and what you find interesting changes and grows, it will matter more that you make an effort than every effort is successful. That said, the difficulty and stress of making friends may not go away. (At least it hasn’t for me.)

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While A1 is right, the idea of your best friend as a SO is a dangerous concept, especially at age 20. You don’t wait to be broken (if you break up), you’d have no support system. It’s a little like investing, diversify and try to make new friends.

That being said, I grew up moving multiple times both domestically and internationally. Friends hard difficult to make and you have to be intentional.

If you’d wanna try to be friends, I’m down. Let’s grab a drink. 22M DMV area

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Lmaooo I forgot 20 💀 why can’t america be as hip as the rest of the world. Shoot me a dm, if you’d like to talk, I’ll be around.

This was me when I was 20, wow

Long story short, SO and I broke up shortly after college and I was forced to sink or swim and I got better at it

likesmarthelpful

My advice would be to put yourself in a mindset where you a genuinely curious about getting to know the person you’re talking to, whether you’re in the office or not. And the conversation tends to flow from there. Which in turn increases your comfort level with the person you’re talking to.

likehelpful

I have a friend that is really technical and is super socially awkward. He’s been in consulting for 2 years and he’s doing well. Only slight difference is you have a SO and he doesn’t. If you have major social anxiety I would recommend seeking professional help if it affects the way you live.

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I think at college not everyone is trying to make meaningful friends and relationships. A lot of friendships built on convenience/proximity and facilitating fun activities like access to parties etc.

smart

Exact same situation for me!

Start drinking

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Good answer

I read somewhere that you become less quantitatively intelligent but more verbally intelligent as you age. Socializing is a learned skill! I was definitely super awkward at 20 but slowly picked up skills over time (I would literally write down observations, tips, and convo points in my notes app). Branching out of your SO is also hugely important as people tend to gravitate towards what makes them comfortable - your SO is that source of comfort to you.

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