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4/1 check-in and announcement!
I’m excited to announce that in conjunction to the “Gym Buddies Daily Check-In”, we will be making a new bowl call “Rest Day Buddies Daily Check-In” for you all to compare notes and strategies for how to take a breather from the gym. Follow link below to learn more: https://tinyurl.com/3yv8rvx8
Ok, now that it’s done, what’s your workout for today? 😅
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Check in to see how she is doing and just let her talk (if she’s up for it). You might be able to send flowers too. Everyone feels a miscarriage loss differently so just being there to listen will help.
Oh man I had a devastating miscarriage a few months ago and I still cry when I think about it. It’s different for everyone but I’ll share a few things from my personal experience.
My best friend who knew would text me every few days to ask how I’m doing and offer to chat anytime. I didn’t need her to say anything but knowing she was thinking of me was comforting. Another very close friend had a ton of chocolate (I have a huge sweet tooth) delivered which I ate while sobbing late at night. And my coworker bestie who knew gave me the comfiest pajamas I’ve ever experienced in my life. Those were very thoughtful gifts.
Though I know they meant well, I didn’t appreciate when people told me that when it’s meant to be it will be (thanks, I’ll be sure to tell my dead child), or “at least you know you can get pregnant” (um didn’t do me any good did it), or asked if we were trying again. It took months for my cycle to get back on track and that was another level of emotional anxiety to have to explain. Someone sent me flowers which was a nice gesture but when they started dying and we had to throw them in the trash, I had a big cry at that too on a symbolic level.
Be protective of her with pregnancy announcements and babies in general. A few friends who knew about my loss were cavalier about telling me about their own pregnancies, texting me their ultrasound pics, telling me their friend/coworker/sister etc is pregnant, not knowing that would secretly trigger me into an hour’s worth of tears at my own loss. Especially since I have two friends who are due when I would have been and they update on group chats their baby is the size of XYZ fruit. It’s not that I have to be excluded from all baby related discussions, it’s just that I know they have no idea how much it hurts. Maybe they think I’m “over it” by now. I’m not.
Anyway I hope this helps! Feel free to DM me.
This is so so helpful. And hugs to you OP - must’ve been so hard for you. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. I do text her from time to time and we talk when she is ready for few mins. I just had baby #2 myself and I consciously make sure I am away from the kids when I talk to her so she isn’t hearing their coos. Also, I don’t send baby pictures to make sure I don’t trigger her. We talk about old times and I try not to complaint about my lack of sleep due to kids etc. I just hope she gets through this.