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I'm serving notice period in TCS and my last day is in 2 weeks. I requested for pickup of laptop in the portal but I came to know that it will take time for pickup and I won't be available if they come late. So I decided to go to office and surrender the laptop as I'm in the location of office only. Is there a seperate request to be raised for surrender of laptop and how to cancel the existing request for pickup. Please guide.Tata Consultancy
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So your family pushed for a vacation they couldn't afford, relied on your husband and you to plan and pay, then complained about him and argued with him? Yeah no, there wouldn't be any "balancing" I just wouldn't do it again and save the money for ourselves to have some time to ourselves
Amen. I have a hard enough time traveling with the whole family when everyone is paying their own way. Family vacations (when everyone brings a spouse and their kids, etc) are not for every family, plain and simple. I would take your husband's side on this absolutely and maybe take a small break from your own family for how disrespectful they were being.
I would speak up and let them know that the feeling is mutual, but also that as a courtesy they could’ve tried to just be nice/neutral since you both were treating/covering their expenses.
I’d never extend an invitation again.. considering you could spend that on yourselves and have peace
This ^^
Your parents sound selfish. And though I'm sure he has things you could complain about, your husband sounds like a saint!
I'd be livid and drawing some real hard lines, maybe even start putting walls up.
10 times out of 10, I'm siding with the family I chose to make (my wife and kids) vs the one I was born into. Maybe that's harsh, but I've never seen a marriage that was going well when spouses don't have each other's backs when family disputes inevitably happen. If you know you're both on the same page every time, that will help keep you sane.
My $.02 and it's worked for us so far.
You lost me at "family planned a trip they couldn't afford and hubby and I paid"
Fam is chaotic- I usually cannot spend holidays with them- they either don’t have the house clean enough for guests or there is a huge family argument blow up. They are fun, then awful, then fun- cycle of toxicity. My mom went on two road trips this summer with my dad and then had a distant family member reach out asking them to visit her. My dad told mom they couldn’t afford it, so I planned a trip, invited my brother, and charged back my parents their plane tix and 1/4th lodging price. Hubby and I paid 1/2 lodging, 2 rental cars, most (not all) groceries. My brother just doesn’t get along with my husband personality wise and ended the trip saying he could not handle a trip with my husband again. IMO my husband is a quiet, introverted, outdoorsy guy. My dad got mad several times due to things not going just perfect including lack of signal, not the right groceries, being unhappy with going back a different way than we came, and ultimately confronted my husband airing his grievances. He will not apologize and I guess I’m back in the mindset that unfortunately I can’t really include my family much in my life or I’ll never live my own. They are messed up people but I don’t like hate them…but I can’t let them walk all over my husband. 😩
This! They are also walking all over you
With no doubt in mind, ditch your family 100%, stay with your husband in military fashion, take charge of your life ... your parents should get the message that bringing up children into the world doesn't mean they own them for life ..
Like this? I am wholly deflated and emotionally wrecked.
I'm really sorry you have to deal with that, it can be so difficult to balance your family and spouse when there's disagreements going on. I'd just try to be honest with your family about how you feel and make it clear that you wouldn't want to go on another trip with them unless they make an effort to get along with your husband too.
How do the men in your family view your husband? Are there political/racial differences? How did they feel about going on a trip paid for by someone else? Did they intend for you all to pay? Did they have input in the planning process?
Not trying to take sides here, but regardless there is some friction. Maybe phone calls are better than trips in the near term.
Need more context - what happened with your husband while traveling. Subsidizing a trip does not absolve anyone of bad behavior
Nothing in the post suggests to me that hubby has done anything bad. Family just sounds entitled and crappy to me.
I think if you had let them know you were picking up most of the bill maybe they would have backed off a bit?