Need advice. Have been on a couple dates with a guy and on the third date my gaydar started going off…is this me overthinking or should I be concerned? He has initiated a lot of our dates / he really wants to see me, which is cute. I know he’s kind of nerdy / inexperienced but here’s some more context:

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My first instinct is no, not gay just shy. However, the voice thing has been a dead giveaway in my experience depending on how strong the intonation is. So really not sure

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Sounds like Gen Z

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Do you enjoy his company and the dates?
Are you having fun?
Why are you concerned about his sexuality?

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- On the third date, we were back at my place and have made out on each date but he said we should wait a couple more dates to hookup bc he doesn’t usually feel comfortable around girls until then. He’s only been with three women ever, and I think is inexperienced. We did end up hooking up (the the AM, bc he also doesn’t like nighttime action if you know what I mean). It was totally fine, no real issues in the act (just clear to me that he was inexperienced bc only wanted to do 1 position)
- Don’t ask how this came up lol but he said he doesn’t watch porn and has not for two years
- He said he likes to dress up for events (like black tie, not costumes lol)
- He is into theatre (writes theatre reviews)
- He has some flamboyant demeanors that I only started noticing on our third date—hand waving, a slighttt bit of a valley girl tone, and a slighty piercing laugh—again all things that I didn’t pick up on until third date
I feel like a guy who was not interested or gay would not keep initiating. But I can’t help but wonder if he is confused about his sexuality. Am I ignorant / overthinking or could there be something here?

Dump

Gay. And if not, effeminate, which is a turn off.

when I’m dating someone new, I don’t aim to get in their pants right away like most guys. My reason for this is so if she wants to keep seeing me, it’s not based on how well I performed but how well we connect. That connection is more important than your sexual connection. Maybe your guy has similar values, in that case, just give him time and see where it goes.

You’re definitely overthinking it. He can’t be the definition of gay if he gets hard and orgasms inside you lol. Lower sex drive, principled, maybe?

My husband is religious and when we were dating did not want to get physical , we were in our 50’s . I think lots of men are a little effeminate and we don’t notice at first . My late husband definitely was very manly and at times I could see feminine qualities, which I loved noticing.

Dump himm

I thought the same… little did I know he just really liked me. 11 years later we are still together and boy does he love love me

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