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You saw firsthand exactly what's going on with these kids. They act that way because parents allow it. Now, you can't really understand the lack of discipline unless you know the family dynamics. A lot of parents think they need to be their kids' friend. Some are just absentee parents and don't particularly care how their kids turn out. Boys of single mothers are notorious for behavior problems. Society also frowns upon firm discipline of children in public. Any number of factors could be at play. Either way, it's a problem that truly does start at home.
It is 100% a change in parenting. Part of that includes allowing excessive and age-inappropriate media consumption by children. Lots of parents have checked out when it comes to monitoring the digital media their children consume.
Gentle parenting is probably also a driver of this failure of parenting. I cannot tell you how often I must give a firm "No" to my children.
Remember this truth:
"A disobedient child is an unhappy child."
I know what you mean, and it is a really hard thing to deal with. Good for you saying something, however it is more likely to be met with backlash from the parent. It has to start at home and then carry over in school. If you don’t have the support of adults at home, very hard to do it all at school with 20 some kids.
No, it makes you wonder what is going on with parenting.
We all see a lot of rudeness, and I'm not sure what can be done about it. Kids will emulate what they see, and lot of what they ingest, reality TV, podcasts, influencer culture, and so on, is just really coarse stuff. All you can do it intercede when you can, as you did with the rude child, but it's like fighting against the tide.
I just have to wonder how it got to be this way? What happened to/with the parents who were raised in the early 2000’s, that they have no idea how to raise respectful humans and have no respect for education? What was their experience that led to this? I am 48- my parents certainly raised me to be respectful and responsible. I raised my kids to be respectful and responsible. (They are now young adults). But my siblings who are 10 years younger than me, who are raising my nieces, are so hands-off, and are raising them to be entitled, rude, disrespectful people. I hate to say it about my own sisters-in-law and brother, but they are so selfish and focused on themselves that they aren’t paying attention to how they are raising their kids- not seeing the big picture. They just want every day to be easy for them so they give the kids whatever they want to keep them quiet then complain that they don’t listen, help around the house, or do their schoolwork. And they want no advice from me or my mom. They- and all their friends, are doing the same things and it is almost like they actually like living the way they do- with so much drama with their kids- all because they don’t say no and don’t follow through with what they say. I just don’t get it.
You nailed it! Exactly true!
I agree with what the others are saying, and that the parents either won't discipline their kids or don't know how to. It always makes me wonder what this child hears at home. Are they mimicking something? Are they used to getting their way? I always step in, but I try to do it gently. Because sometimes, you can tell the parent already feels embarrassed and overwhelmed.
It’s parenting. Both parents are now working and after a crazy day at work, they want a peaceful evening. This means that parents are checked out with checking to see that homework is done. They don’t want to have fights with kids, so it’s easier to just ignore it. Parents let their kids make the rules at home. (Can I tell you how many sixth graders now have the primary bedroom?) No is not a word they are used to hearing…they bring this sense of it’s my way or I will throw a tantrum until it is their way. No means an argument where they dig there heals in. This is where the disrespect is coming from. It works at home, so why wouldn’t it work at school? Often times after conferences (we let the student sit in) the parents ask me to “give them the trick” that I use to have their child behave and show manners. I always tell them there’s no trick…it’s an expectation that they are respectful toward me and other students or they can’t participate in my room. No is part of my vocabulary in class. Can you believe I’ve actually had parents tell me that if I don’t share the “trick” how can they get their kid to act like this at home? 🤦♀️
I have had to get down to the physical level of the child and quietly but seriously say, I am not sure how things work at your home, but here in my classroom I make the rules and if I say no. I mean no. No matter how many times you ask me the answer will be no so save yourself the trouble.
Our job is tough enough teaching kids. Now we also have to teach parents! There is a special place in heaven for elementary teachers who have to train parents whose first child is finally in school.
Being a parent and being a friend are 2 different things.
I am/will be a parent until my children are 18/graduate from HS. When they have a full-time job or are going to college with a part-time job after high school, that roll changes a bit as they are released into the world of adulting.
Parenting becomes more like coaching & advising with open ended questions.
Be a parent not a friend!
I reached out to a parent about their child’s disruptive behavior and at first, the parent was very concerned and supportive of helping to correct the behavior. Then I found out that the parent went to the principal and said I was “targeting” their child. I couldn’t believe that this was the way they decided to deal with the situation instead of following through like they initially proposed. I was faced with the reality that some parents are just in denial that the problem really starts at home.
Some parents need help and guidance on dealing with their kids.
We have a 14yr old. We've simply explained from the beginning that you don't talk to your mother/father/aunt/uncle/neighbor/dog sitter/paper kid/ customer service rep/ ETC..... Like That.
Before age 10:
She would receive 1 quickly worded quip
2nd time-- more detail & more firm
3rd time she'd lose something.
After age 10: 1 warning. Usually just a certain look from 1 of us ;). If she chooses to not listen, there's consequences. It's worked for us well.
Those who are not offered respect cannot manifest respect
What do you mean you wonder? The faulty is ours as adults. We gave them the power to act out without repercussions. And if parents try to take back the power, adults put you to jail, they take the kids from a loving home, and put them in the system.