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A lot in life is timing (some call it luck, god, randomness). We all have executive presence with a few clients and not with others, sometimes we have a decision maker willing to pound the table for us and sometimes we don’t have friends in higher places. Mentors retire, clients move on, pandemics, recession.... you get the picture.
I gave up a CxO industry role to be at the firm, been on both sides, seen things from both sides. CIO is a dream exit, WLB will be great and comp could be higher if your RSUs take off. You will find a lot of partners who will exit to a CIO role anytime but can’t crack the interviews. You should be very proud.
Very well said - totally agree
Mentor
Op, woman partner here. Several thoughts:
1. From your post, it appears you’re associating executive presence with appearance. The latter only accounts for a very small portion of executive presence (gravitas and communication are the other two categories and a far more important. That said even appearance is not about you being attractive. It is about dressing in clothes that fit you and are age appropriate, not looking like you rolled out of bed, etc. You can do all of that and still have junk in your trunk.
2. It is hard to tell without knowing the details of your situation whether the feedback was valid. I can tell you I have delivered this feedback to people who were not being strategic, who couldn’t stand toe to to with c suite, etc. I have also heard people use this as an excuse because they didn’t want to have hard conversations about real problems and saying you lack executive presence was easier. If you care, I would ask your sponsors and mentors for very honest feedback on what transpired and especially in the last year since you seemed to be not getting this feedback earlier. All that said, I find it curious that you’re hired as a CIO which would make me think you have the right presence, so you definitely have the right to say wtf here.
3. From woman to woman, because I know we do this to ourselves. Do not jump to the conclusion that it was your weight. I know situations like these make you question things and doubt yourself, but don’t let yourself go to you appearance. It’s more likely it has nothing to do with that, and you’re just being too hard on yourself.
Congratulations on the new opportunity! I wish you all the best.
Throwing in my 2 cents here - a lot of these comments point out how OTHER people perceive your weight (whether over or under). However, I think that there’s something ignored with that logic. Ever heard of the term “look good, feel good”? Could it be possible that if you are not overweight, you could be more confident in yourself and thus “display better presence”? What if your confidence is down because you’re overweight and the lack of self conviction is noticed by people around you?
Carry yourself the way you want to be treated. Rock your stuff with confidence and ignore the boos, as they usually come from the cheap seats.
To OP - best of luck in your new roll! Cheers
Honestly, I've seen executive presence be a generic "we don't think you're ready yet" catch all phrase, which was used on me at one point as well. You really need to push a level or two deeper on what that means, specific examples where you didn't display the presence expected of a partner, and why / what would good have looked like
Could be complete b.s., but questions for you: when you're speaking with senior execs, do they all shut up and give you their full attention? Do they ask your opinion? Can you influence their behavior? If the answers are yes, I'd say you have plenty of exec presence.
Well, now you're the boss! Congrats!
Sorry to hear that but going into industry as a CIO is not a bad thing at all. Consider this as a blessing in disguise.
Also, it’s generally used for they way you communicate and not your appearance. Agree with P1 that you should dig deeper and ask for specific examples
Sorry to hear that. I always felt it was a fake meritocracy.
Whoever said any of the B4s are a meritocracy? There are many reasons people make into the partnership and it’s not always based of raw talent/ skill. It could be relationships, timing, or a little luck.
Also, what some are alluding to; not all feedback is great as it may not be actionable or specific enough but I wouldn’t just write it off either. Do a little digging and some self reflection
I'd consider a CIO an executive, so clearly you have adequate executive presence.
As others mentioned, dig deeper to understand the feedback better. And forget about it. You're clearly doing great.
Mentor
Weird to hear that you lack executive presence if you are leaving for an executive position. You must have shown sufficient presence to land that role, right?
Don’t know how it works at the firm you’re leaving, but there are plenty of partners at mine who are talented in all sorts of ways, but with middling presence. It’s a ludicrous reason to hold a person back when they’re demonstrating success in role.
Mentor
Feel free to hold it against them. When you award the work to another service provider, you can always mention you just respected their presence more.
I don’t think executive presence has to do with physical appearance (of course you need to be well maintained and nice clothes). I’ve seen some ‘not easy on the eyes’ and overweight (many overweight) partners. They should be providing you with support (training) as I would think executive presence a communication/relationship build attribute.
Interesting and problematic
Even sometimes our presidents are not “presidential” but they are still presidents.
Exactly my point OP. From what you have described, you are just doing fine. I would just reiterate to dig deeper into that comment and satisfy that stakeholder.