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I hate being a mom, didn't think I would
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I hate being a mom, didn't think I would
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I felt like at around 6mos my son started reciprocating, smiling, laughing, etc. At 3 mos my son was sleep, poop, breastfeeding. I was there to pretty much lessen the burden when possible for my wife. When your son starts laughing, smiling, recognizing things around him more, this will change.
I am in a similar situation. I have a 2 yr old and 5 yr old daughters. They long for my company, sometimes my elder daughter comes to my room just to sit with me while I am on my back to back calls.
Thanks for sharing SM1, I was thinking I am alone feeling that. Given the fact my kids are similar ages and with covid restrictions, I feel they crave company and I skip work just to give them that. Not a good solution but don’t know what else to do.
I’ve got a 2.5 month old and 2.5 year old. My wife had to be away for a day and a half so she pumped for me to have bottles and I had both kids for that day and a half on my own. I felt much more connected to the little one afterwards. Could be something worth trying. Hope that helps.
Make something your thing. And almost get mad if that gets disrupted. When you are home, give your baby a bath. In fact, make giving a bath your thing. Own it. And maybe it’s something else, but that was what I did and it helped in the connection. Another idea - I took the kids to the zoo almost every weekend. At first it was just a walk through a park with the baby in a stroller or backpack, but I kept doing it most weekends, and we had a lot of special times as they grew up and ran around too. Point is - make something that is yours.
Babies are naturally more dependent on their moms. Don’t sweat it. I have 3 kids and as little babies they wanted nothing to do with daddy. Now that they are 5, 8, and 12, they are all about daddy especially the girls. And those ages are a lot of fun to be a dad. When they are babies your primary job is helping your wife by doing diapers (I did diapers solid for literally a decade) and giving her breaks when she needs it. Believe me you will be just as close to them when they are older
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The lead data scientist wins. I generally wouldn’t sweat any of this. These years of your live are just tough. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I think you’re fine to just do nothing.
But.
If you want to bond with your baby, you need to send your wife away with the toddler and spend a whole day there with the baby. A couple of diaper changes here and there won’t do it.
This ☝️ I had the same issue with my daughter until she was one. Then covid hit and at home, I tried taking all her tasks- that has helped me connect more. My elder one pushes for my time but I had to make a conscious effort to connect to my younger one.
Depending on the weather may take the little guy on daily walks and point things out to him. I also found it helpful to some skin to skin time when they are that little. Turn on some Netflix and let the little guy pass out on your chest.
I am in the exact same boat. I don’t think this is abnormal given work schedule and taking care of the 3 year old...
Don't be so hard on yourself. It's not uncommon, just keep doing what you need to do for the family and it will sort itself out.
Be patient with yourself—give it time. I found things changed around 6-9 months then again accelerated as a toddler. Lots of time to connect!
Give it time, it takes dads longer to create the bonds. Once they become more interactive and become less dependent on mom, things really take off.
Great suggestion, lead data scientist
Mine cries when I hold him at night but he is totally fine for naps. They’re unreasonable and attached to their mothers always. Hang in there. They’ll get more fun after 18 months or so.