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Hello, Can any one assist me the title hierarchy in JPM On my offer letter if is written as Title will be Data Management Specialist IV of CIB Does this means operational analyst ? What is the next designation after this ? How much time usually JPMC take to promote to next designation? I tried to reach out to the HR but no response from them I will be joining JPMC on 5th December it would be great if you guys can assist me
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This is not easy for anyone. I know a lot of couples who say that this phase nearly broke them. Considering that both people are sleep deprived (mom more than dad), mom is still hormonal, and dad feels like he’s last (vs his partner’s first pre-baby). So emotions are running high in little to no sleep. And the nasty comes out. It’s universal unfortunately... but most don’t share about it. It will pass. But communicate. Be the bigger person (and he will follow suit). Come from a place of empathy (both of you... and he will follow suit too). And it’ll get better with time. Sleep when you can. You’ll be tempted to get a ton done when baby naps. But force yourself to nap. It makes a world of a difference.
Thank you this is soothing advice and also so helpful!
Rising Star
I tell everyone that I hated my spouse for the first year we had a kid. It’s so hard.
Try to acknowledge it and be a team, but you just muddle through, really.
Maybe find things he/she does well and compliment them
And ask them to do same for you to keep everyone’s spirits up. And...this, too, shall pass.
I got a therapist 2 months ago (baby is 1 year this month). I needed someone else to bitch to. Some of my complaints are about the way my husband does things with our daughter vs me. For example, I watch her and read books, get on the floor with her, etc. Husband plays video games appropriate for her eyes but doesn’t engage with her. It pissed me the fuck off. And my therapist helps me vent then find ways to say my issue without calling my husband a dickhole.
In all honesty, he’s a wonderful partner and father. But therapy... fucking life changing.
Yes, I survived with a therapist who had the same role to me and my son is 3. But yes, for the first couple of years I hated my partner! It’s very hard, but it gets better if you both talk through it and have a lot of empathy and patience
We just fought through it. We are both fighters and talked it out. It still happens all the time! At one point I had to tell him I didn’t want to fight anymore I am on his side. In this time there is no distance, so we are talking it out.
For me the newborn phase was a big lesson in learning how to ask for help. I started to resent my husband so much for playing video games, going on the patio to have a beer, etc. while I was constantly taking care of the baby with no breaks. I had to learn to ask my husband to hold the baby while I have a cup of tea and read a book, take a walk or call my mom. It's so hard especially with mom guilt, but at the end of the day it makes me happier and a better mom / wife. I also am able to appreciate my husband so much for being so open and supportive.
The effing video games have almost sent me over the edge. 😂
We fought about methods on how to soothe baby. I had ways that worked for me, and I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just listen to me and do what I was doing. He wanted to figure his own method and sometimes it worked and sometimes they didn’t...but looking back he discovered methods that I never thought of to soothe our baby and when my tactics stopped working we could fall back on some of his and vice versa. But at the time it was very frustrating because the baby would be crying and it felt like he wasn’t listening to my advice.
Rising Star
Omg SAME. The biggest fights we had to date are the first 3 months when we were sleep deprived, the baby wouldn’t. stop. crying, and we disagreed on what to do. It was awful.
My husband is amazing, but when he would complain about how tired he was, or would ask me how to do everything without trying to figure it out first, I wanted to just claw his eyes out. I had been tired for MONTHS before the birth, studied everything I could, birthed a child, then breastfed every few hours, so I had zero patience for it.
Women are f*ckin warriors.
Apologize
Thanks SM! Yes no worries it’s hard to explain the full context in one message. Yeah I was curious to hear from everyone’s behaviors on both sides.
But you’re right, coming in that way feels less aggressive and does open doors for a conversation. Thank you.
And thanks Designer I love that.
Yep, we fought. My little guy never slept. One thing I had to make clear to my partner is that I wasn’t saying he’s not helping, doing it all wrong, being a dick, etc. He had to know that when we talked, it wasn’t a personal attack. But I did need to express my feelings. And while they may be warped from hormones and lack of sleep, they are valid.
Good for you! I’m glad you did that. I tried to do that but my partner is super reactive, so it didn’t go very well... and I ended up bottling most of my feelings up, which is not good
My girls are 7 & 9 now... But I distinctly remember staring at him sleeping soundly next to me with his useless nipples while I nursed my youngest every 2 hours around the clock for 6 months. It's just plain hard. They say pregnancy is 9 months. Its about 2 years total before you regain some semblance of normal. Hang in there. It will level off.
Something we are just now practicing — It’s so hard - nearly impossible most days, but SO worth it. Encourage each other to take a breather— step outside for a quick walk (15-20), just to reset & enjoy the quiet..
Also as previously suggested above — sleep all the sleep you can. It’s tempting to knock out, chores or scroll on the phone when they’re sleeping, but a quick power nap really does help!.
There are postpartum therapists you can reach out to.