What are y’all doing for Father’s Day? This will be my somewhat legit first one, since we had our LO last year. My wife asked me what I wanted and I suggested a few hours away from home (alone), but she insisted on hiring a babysitter while I’m out so she could tag along or stay back but with some help (she’s battling anxiety and depression). I feel my hands are tied around what to do since she’s going through mental health problems, but I need to step away for my own sanity. Suggestions?

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Be straight up but respond with empathy and try to find a middle ground. Babysitter and letting her chill solo for a few hours is a win for all

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Me time is important.

I’d hire a babysitter, drop my wife at a day spa or something, and go have alone time.

Happy Father’s Day man

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Sounds like she is willing to stay back with help, so I would say hire the babysitter and then you can get your alone time. Seems straightforward unless I’m missing something.

Thinking about your wife’s mental health is a very good thing, obviously, but a few hours for yourself seems perfectly reasonable. Maybe consider hiring a babysitter more often to give her a break so she can dedicate some time to her well-being.

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Thanks. We’ve hired a babysitter multiple times for date nights, but not during the day before. Usually when she takes a break, I’ll watch him or it’s after he goes down.

May be a slightly unpopular take here but I don’t think Father’s Day should be a ‘time alone’ day.

There are other gifts you could ask for that result in time alone e.g., ask for some kind of experiential gift that means you get time alone when you were doing it. Day at a race track, golf lessons.

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I agree with you, but do you feel the same for Mother’s Day?

Let her know you’d like the time out alone, but that she should 100% also take the time alone and use the sitter.
Also get the sitter on a consistent routine, weekly would likely be great. Then sometimes that can be time together, sometimes separate, sometimes getting important things done, etc

Fathers Day aside, I often help my wife plan playdates at our house (we are lucky to have several good friends from before kids who now have kids and live nearby) or invite my mother-in-law over just to hang out (she’s local). This gives me a window - maybe 2 hours or so - to just get things done like yard work or get out.

Early on, I also encouraged my wife and the friend moms to do “lady dinners” the first Friday of every month. Dads watch the kids (sometimes together) in exchange for time to go for a drive or run errands during nap time on the weekend.

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