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What is normal? Normal just means more than 50% of the population experiences negative marriages. Dysfunction is normal. But why be normal when you can be awesome?
The sad part is many of us are good-to-great at work but crap at home. But when you think about of the level of investment into your career, and compare it with your level of investment at home, I think we can quickly spot the difference. So when we get a “low return” at home we tend to blame the spouse and not our investment. Why would home life be any different?
I wanted to share with you guys a talk from a guy who blew my mind 15 years ago. I’ve been married for 12 years now and have one of those marriages of which most of you would be envious, and this is a large part of why it works so well.
Happens a lot in dysfunctional marriages. But should not be the norm.
Normal. But consider that you may be pushing for your preference in the compromise negotiation too much, you being a consultant may mean you have better convincing skills than her and she may have agreed to something just because she ran out of things to reply on your points, not because she agreed on an emotional level. Try to give her time to think things over after the initial conversation and don’t force quick decisions
You are correct in this point - thanks for sharing
Not alone x 1000
For those like me who are saying you are not alone, how do you cope? It impacts every part of our relationship from parenting to sex life. What are your tactics? Extra long showers?
And then also, if I change the thing to make it what she wants, will still hold the fact that I did what she didn’t actually want to begin with against me, pretty much forever. Example, going to my parents for Christmas Eve, she didn’t want to do that, but then we agreed on a compromise, now the day of, she says she’s “resentful” about it, and doesn’t want to go, but is going to go anyways. Just one small example.
Very normal
Yeah, unfortunately normal. I’ve been fighting this battle for 12+ years.
I do t know OP. It’s probably one of the biggest areas of concern for our marriage. We have productive talks about it but then she falls back into the same habits. I get more frustrated because I feel like I have made significant changes in my behavior to help alleviate this problem but she has not. There are many good parts to our marriage but this does seem to be a hard to solve problem. Sorry I don’t have any good advise but maybe knowing that aren’t alone is helpful. Best of Luck OP.
Totally normal
Normal. At least she goes.
True
You are not alone.
Definitely not alone
Normal
Counseling. If you let resentful behavior persist in either side the only paths you're headed for are an unhappy marriage or divorce. You need to explain to her the issue you are having and suggest counseling to help you both work through how you handle these situations.