Will I ever get over my poverty mindset?

I grew up very poor. I get extreme anxiety and shame when I spend money above $20. Deep down I feel like I should scrounge and save every penny. I use bath towels that are 10 years old and threadbare cause I can't bring myself to buy a "luxury item" despite making oodles of money and have a ton saved and invested.

Anyone else get over this?

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You need to start thinking about value instead of cost.

I will even go as far and say I disagree with most in this thread so far. I am all about FIRE, don’t get me wrong. I save a large portion of my income.

That being said, I look at indulgences as an investment in my own mental health. This increases productivity, which increases income over my career. For you, that might mean fancy towels so that when you get out of the shower you feel 100%. Maybe it’s super soft bedding to help you sleep better. Maybe it’s an ergonomic desk. Maybe it’s hookers. Whatever motivates you to perform at your highest, buy it and become the best you.

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I would recommend getting therapy to address this issue. Feeling shame and anxiety over spending anything over $20 is not okay especially when you are depriving yourself of items essential to your comfort and wellbeing.

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Need to find a therapist who charges less than $20 an hour.

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I did after a certain income level. I was on food stamps in college went to food pantries as a kid. I used to have anxiety early in my career around something as simple as grocery shopping and it took years for that to go away. Now I make 600k-700k in my 30s and don’t think twice about spending money. I’m meeting my savings/investing goals and I never have to worry about money again. It took time but I’ve learned to enjoy this life because I walked through hell to achieve it.

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What are you planning on doing with the money you’ve saved and invested? I think you need to remind yourself that you worked hard to get to where you are and you deserve new towels once in awhile, amongst other things. No need to go crazy, but start with little luxuries and new experiences. Otherwise, what’s the point have having money in the bank?

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Good for you! This is a great way to think. I feel the same way and my intention is to retire early, support my family, and support my extended family if they need (we have a lot of serious medical issues). Not having that financial security is what stresses me! Keep going! You were raised properly from my perspective.

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And eventually you can live off your investments and stop working. I plan to pursue passion projects and spend more time with my family. That’s the value of having money in the bank from my perspective :)

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I think that’s how you should live. Everything else is excess. Probably few year old bath towels, no 10, because it’ll be as hard as a cardboard by then.

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You plan to burn all your money when you die? The point of earning money is to spend it on life. If you not gonna live why bother being alive lol.

I think it depends what your long term goals are. If you’re planning to retire early, I understand this to an extent but anxiety over spending $20 is interesting. It seems like you’re doing everything right but do think about your mental and physical health. I think you’re doing great by investing money. I think it’s nice that you are saving money but I’d say have an emergency fund and that’s all the money you’ll need while the rest can go into investments and other things to help you live a “better, healthier” lifestyle. By other things, I mean vacations, buying something nice for yourself from time to time, massages, nice dinners, etc. If I was you, I’d create a budget for each of those things and move money monthly into each of these buckets because I think it’ll make you feel better knowing that you’re not just spending money directly out of your account (even though you are). I completely understand where you’re coming from as I didn’t grow up to have much, worked all time in college, and didn’t do anything to help my mental mindset. When I started my career, I did what I said above and it made me feel better about spending money. Hope that helps!

I grew up poor too but always had a mindset of abundance because that’s how I was raised. I do get anxiety in other ways though, especially when it comes to having a stable shelter.

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