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I have total 4.5 years of experience. Currently I am working as data engineer. Skill set: MSBI, SSIS, SSRS, SQL Server, ADF, Alteryx. Will these technologies be good enough for my 3rd switch. I am already getting 20+ LPA. I am not getting call now a days. Any suggestions ?Accenture IBM Deloitte USI Capgemini LTI Information Technology
Which is more important mental health or job?
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I’d be open to it. But I think if he made significantly less (like 30%+ less than I earn), it could be a bit difficult. I have certain financial goals and retirement goals I want to meet, and I could imagine it might get tricky navigating that or could lead to weird relationship dynamics if he’s not as motivated as I am.
For me, personally, even though I’m a current workaholic career woman, I still think I might want the option to stay home for a while whenever we have kids, maybe at least until they’re school-aged. It would be my preferred ideal option, and it’s how I was raised (no nanny or daycare). And if his income alone couldn’t support us for a few years, I’d have to rethink how that would work (maybe he would stay home, or we’d both have a hybrid schedule, or we’d have family help out—I don’t know).
Chief
I really want to be open to it but I have a similar thought process @VPFC.
Yes. Already did.
I wouldn't give it a second thought. If I was convinced they were the right person for me in every other way, I wouldn't let an income discrepancy stand in the way of my happiness.
Yes, already did. For us it’s a non-issue. It’s not my money or his money, it’s OUR money.
We pretty much do everything together, although there are times when one of us does more. We both have non-negotiable . I do not do any trash, that is for him to take care of. He prefers to not have to clean the toilets so I take care of that one but everything else we pretty much do together. Really it’s more based on who has the most time during their day.
Chief
I would also be curious to what “less money” means to you? Personally, I think I’d be okay if there was a 15-25k discrepancy but I couldn’t do 25k+
I currently make 175k and live in a VHCOL area.
Chief
My family is all based in HCOL areas and unlikely to move - it’s very important to me to be near my family. I posted this later in the thread but it takes a very secure guy to be okay with the woman being the breadwinner. Also, I’d expect him to take on more of the household work and studies show that doesn’t happen
Oh yes, I have no problem being the main bread winner. I like to think of my marriage as a partnership and I don’t concern myself with who earns more. We split bills percentage wise based off our personal incomes and split household chores. I think it works nicely.
Chief
For me, it isn’t about being the bread winner, it’s more about if our life styles and values are aligned.
I also think it takes a very secure man to be in a relationship where there is an income discrepancy
Love is more important than $$ so yes.
Yes if the person is the right one, decent and all.
I already did and it doesn’t matter.
My husband makes 50% of my income. We split the finances percentage wise, so bulk is me but we knew that prior to marriage. Now with a child, he does more childcare and switched to part time/ nights. So he makes even less but we always figured I’ll be primary breadwinner and he wants to be a stay at home parent if we could afford it.
No. Finances are the top cause of divorce next to infidelity. I’m not willing to downgrade my lifestyle, especially if I’m also expected to have children and play part time caretaker in the process. I’ve sacrificed too much and it would result me in resenting my partner. It’s also about respecting my partner. Despite coming from a low class immigrant family I’ve made it to where I am, how can I respect someone who has had more advantages yet chooses to underperform. I can’t.
We have separate accounts and split the larger bills (mortgage, childcare, travel, groceries, etc). We each do what we want with the rest of our money. It works for us because it is extremely important for us to not have to discuss/ explain every single expense. Also, we have different mindsets about money - he spends a bit carelessly where I budget and spend more intentionally. I used to get upset often about his spending habits but now as long as he’s handling his portion of the bills, I’m okay with however he wants to spend the rest of his money. So, in a sense, it doesn’t really matter who is making more.
Not anymore and I can’t make him care I realized. I’ve made it clear he can’t rely on me for retirement (but I do save enough for both of us lol, just like to keep him on his toes). While he spends carelessly, he is usually just spending on kids or house projects/maintanance. I guess I’ve just accepted the way he is and he brings more into the relationship in other ways. I’m thankful he’s not stingy and sometimes even admire his optimism that everything will eventually work itself out.
I’m never getting married again. If by some miracle I decided to, our respective incomes wouldn’t be a deciding factor.
For those who say no, my question then is… what would you do if you marry equal in pay, but then something happens in your significant other’s life where you now are the permanent main breadwinner… are you planning to divorce that person because now they are not making all that much if any at all?