27 year old who has never been in a relationship, never dated seriously, is now regretting not being more active about dating. Never even held hands with anyone. Are there more like me??? If so—please share success stories too! 🧐

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30 and never been in a relationship 🙋‍♀️ I’ve done a lot of self reflecting lately to reevaluate how I feel about my status. I had my head buried in school, worked for four long years in biglaw, throw COVID in there and when did I really have time to date? I bet you’re in similar spot. I would also like to hear some more success stories but just know you’re not alone! We just haven’t met our people yet.

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Try 40. Spent covid with someone I had started dating but I knew wouldnt be long term and the forced constant togetherness and total lack of any other human contact turned my life into a quasi-abusive hell for the last 2 years of it. Just got out - and just turned 40. And I know once guys see/hear THAT number, you pretty much have to be Gisele Bunchen to find someone....and, sadly, look how that ended up. Any bets on how much younger than her his next wife will be - is it 10 or 15 years? 🤦‍♀️

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Consider yourself lucky. Most of them out there are looking for a mommy and you’ll feel like you have a child, not a partner. If and when you do enter the murky waters of dating, ask for 1. Credit report, 2. STD/labs, 3. Financial portfolio.

Separate bank accounts. Prenup.

Best advice I ever got was to only get into a relationship when I didn’t need anything from another person. When we try to fill a void in our lives by expecting another person to fill them for us through an intimate relationship, it’s doom to fail from day 1.

-Married 11 years, together 14, and licked the floor of hell to make it work. Worth it, but not for the faint of heart.

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Geese

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I see so many people over dating bc it's incredibly disappointing and stressful. I absolutely get it and I was there too.

I'd like to offer a suggestion: get on a dating app and look for adventure partners and not potential husbands. Whatever you like to do, advertise for it on the dating apps and don't offer any really personal information on the app.

I posted my profile on Tinder asking for men to take me to cool hiking places, antique hunting, ice skating, swimming, kayaking, paddle boarding etc etc. (I'd check the places out and make sure they weren't secluded first but also I'm in Canada and it's way safer here than in the States. I can say that, I'm American).

In my opinion, this is the way to date without dating. Do a fun activity where you don't have to get super personal right away and if there's not great chemistry you're still doing something fun. I also eventually met someone and we both like to hike ans kayak which makes the relationship so, so much easier.

Also, I dont date lawyers!

likehelpful

Same. In general, I’m an awkward introverted duckling. But also, I finished high school early so missed out on the awkward teen dating. Went to an all girls university so missed out on dating during that age group. Then was focused on starting my career and now growing my career so I’ve continued to miss out and now I’m 30. 😅 I do wish I’d tried to date but at the same time I’m happy with myself as a person and I’m still trying to be happy as a professional. Maybe once I’ve figured my career out, I can work on being happy as a partner in a relationship (or i suppose getting a partner for a relationship). I worry it makes me weird but I’m glad there are so many others in the comments.

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Don’t worry about comparing yourself to other people. I worked abroad for a number of years in my “prime” dating years and felt like I lost that time, but I was doing what was right for me at the time. Be open-minded when you meet new people and be sure not to overlook your friend group — sometimes unexpected romances pop up with people you already know and love! Good luck!

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Have you had any romantic / sexual encounters? "Never even held hands with anyone"--- have you had romantic or intimate physical contact with someone else?

Not asking to pry. But if you're lacking in experience in *all ways* then advice or responses due might be different from a situation in which you've just never had a serious long term relationship.

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32 and haven't really dated since 22. Not really interested either.

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I didn’t have my first boyfriend until I was 26.5. Now we are in a serious relationship. Don’t worry. Just keep putting yourself out there!

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Let me just state is perfectly okay to operate in your own timing. Your biggest competition should always be you. Comparison is the thief of joy. While it may seem like it’s taking forever, when it happens for real with the right person, you will be glad you took your time.

Trust me there are many of us, self included, who forced something that wasn’t and later regretted it until divorce.

Date yourself, have fun, travel and while you are having fun loving on you… he will come.

Also make room for him… meaning make sure everything you desire him to be…. You are already that. You want someone in shape…. Take care of your body. You want a world traveler… be well traveled. You want a man who loves God first… be a woman who loves God first… etc. 💛

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I was my husbands second real girlfriend at 33 or so. He basically took 8 years off dating/intimacy (some of that is from pandemic I think). Good looking and smart guy, just a late bloomer I think. Just find someone like that - they all turn to apps eventually. Recommend bumble since it tends to be more woman positive (liberal to moderate guys politically. Fewer players) or try Christian mingle lol

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Honestly, Christian Mingle is the WORST app. I had more creepers on there than Tinder and Hinge combined. You have to pay for pro to be able to message and if you pay for pro, you can message anyone, even if you didn’t match and they don’t meet your criteria. So all the weirdos come out of the woodwork. It’s tough in the dating world these days…

likefunny

Same boat here and I am turning 30 soon. Wanted to start dating but covid happened and I'm too afraid to meet new people.

Same boat here and I am turning 30 soon. Wanted to start dating but covid happened and I'm too afraid to meet new people.

This was me. Not to the no holding hands extent. I had made out held hands etc with several people but never went past that stage. Put yourself out there! Met my boyfriend at 27 after giving hinge a try and never been happier 😊

I didn’t meet and man that I was serious about, and he me, until I was 27. I’d dated and was more experienced sexually than the poster but not real experienced on that front. That was not an issue and I think he liked that actually. What was more of an issue for me was not being experienced in navigating day to day expectations that come with a “relationship” or serious dating.

Instead of dating apps, maybe try a meet up or other local group based on your interests (book club, young professionals art museum membership, hiking group, etc). Getting to know some people outside of the artifice of dating might help you meet someone you like as a person, which then can develop into a relationship.

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