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Because too many partners were hazed and think humiliation is a rite of passage. The only thing that trickles down in law firms is trauma.
As A1 suggested, I would confront this person privately. I’ve worked with some very difficult people and that never happened to me. But I’d always go over what I was going to say with the person hosting the call. It makes your team look horrible that you’re not on the same page and don’t have it together. But, for future reference, don’t be that person as you advance.
I'm sorry that happened to you and I have worked with partners like this in my former firm too. However, I see people telling you to confront them in private. Bad idea - especially if it's a small firm. I have seen partners decide to fire associates because they had the nerve to have an opinion. Happened to me, happened to my colleague in the same firm. First, recognize the inbalance of power and second, understand that partners (or people) like the one you described do not like to be wrong or to be told that they are wrong. If you confront them privately, they may apologize and do better, but on the flip side, that may mark the beginning of a worse outcome for you. Weigh both possibilities wisely before taking action.
- spoken purely from experience.
I’m sorry that this happened to both of you. But the concern I have is that we are acting as if partners are invincible and exempt from heartache for their behavior towards others. They are not!!! Why shouldn’t they accept a kind wake-up call - if only to prevent their own potential heartache down the road? It could happen! There are probably stories that partners on this platform may never share. I’ve seen people in relatively high positions in law get humbled very quickly!
Sometimes people get nervous in situations and act in ways they might not realize are rude and things are happening so fast they forget what they did, if it even registered at all. Best to politely mention later in private to get their point of view.
I’m sorry that happened to you, and yes, I would confront them privately in a diplomatic way. Then, I would memorialize my conversation with them in writing.
One reason I would confront them is because they may not realize how their behavior came across to you. And unfortunately, we live in a crazy world where some people may not respond well to being snapped at and embarrassed in public. Your diplomatic, private confrontation may awake an awareness in them and spare them potential heartache down the road.
Start applying to other places. No one deserves that level of disrespect.