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I want to live in a world where employers won’t discriminate against moms. Where there won’t be a bias against moms from fellow employers. We don’t live in that world yet though. I kept my pregnancy and time off fairly under the radar, hid it under the umbrella of freelance work that I did. I felt the same way you did, but you don’t owe anyone that information, and it will be used against you. I was honest about my mat leave time to two different places that were close to offer, and they ghosted me. It was insane. Now, I don’t mention it at all, but I’m always open about being a mom once I get the gig.
True, but sometimes the recruiters who make the decisions aren’t a good reflection of the agency values as a whole. You mostly want to make sure your manager is family friendly if that’s important to you. Keep it impersonal with recruiters.
Similar to the person above, I wish we were in a world that it wasn’t frowned upon to have a child and discuss that. I actually am really kicking myself for not having pressed my recruiter on finding out for me what maternity leave was at the co I ended up taking a job with...she gave me a lame response like, I can’t ask that because you don’t want to give any red flags but it’s a startup so I’m sure it’s good!
That couldn’t be further from the truth. 🤬
For future reference, tell the recruiter you want to look at the entire offer comprehensively, and you’d like a copy of their benefits. Even then, they might just send you a top-level 2 page overview, and you can press for the employee handbook or tell them it’s not enough. I’ve done this in the past, but it’s incredible the amount of handbooks that don’t even outline mat leave policies. I’ve also had recruiters promise me the benefits package made up for a lower offer, and when I pressed, I found out the benefits were abysmal (including SIX whole weeks of partially paid mat leave, which frankly is an embarrassment and insult).
Pro
What fuckin bullshit. Why can’t we want to take time off to be with our kids. Why is there shame associated with that? I’d only want to work with people who would think that was a good thing. I believe you can pause your career but you can’t push pause on time with your family. If we’ve learned anything from the Kobe Bryant accident a few weeks ago, every day isn’t guaranteed. I’d take pride and that time spent with my kid. Recruiters need to check themselves sometimes. I always find them out of touch.