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How long have you been together? It took me about 6 months to post my BF at the time bc before I put him on social media I wanted to make sure it was more serious.
Pro
I think it depends what he posts. If he posts a lot of pics of himself and of friends, then maybe a little more odd than if heās posting a lot of food/scenery/art/memes whatever. Sort of like, how personal is his content?
I think dynamics with family or coworkers who follow someone can be complicated for adding pictures of significant others so I give it a little space.
I donāt have a bf but trust your gut
Ya I do hear you on this š
Married for 9 years. My husband doesnāt post anything about us on social media and is all āletās be happy in privateā he posts work stuff and articles. I sometimes feel sad about it then I remind myself that social media is a display window of cherry picked moment that by no mean represent peopleās actual life.
I donāt really know what the advice is here. Even after years in a relationship it still really stings. But some men are really not into social media for the social / community aspect. š¤·āāļø
I wouldnāt love that ā¹ļø have you talked to him about it?
āIf ain't no ring on my finger, you ain't goin' on my 'Gramā- Cardi B
In all seriousness, in took me a over a year to post, though I am too invested in Instagram. Have you met his friends? To me that is a greater indication how he feels than Instagram.
Hahhaha and yes have met most of his friends
Rising Star
I mean you said he is pretty active on social media, does he post pics/stories with his friends and family, selfies, and things that he does (restaurants, food, etc.) and what not? If yes, then at some point it would be weird if he posts all of this but not you. And if his excuse keeps being āitās not my thing I never posted GFsā in this scenario it just sounds like a very cheap excuse and ultimately very dismissive of your feelings. I know you two just very recently started an exclusive relationship so if it was me Iād give it a little bit more and see how it goes.
Now if heās that kind of guy who barely posts anything and when he does itās a fishing š£ pic (lol) or only uses social media to scroll through memes and news etc but barely knows how to even use the app, then ok I guess.
Rising Star
š¬š¬
Took me 6ish months to feel comfortable posting my boyfriend too. I was more nervous about jinxing it, or getting questions from friends I hadnāt caught up with in a while/hadnāt told personally yet, than the reasons you mentioned. That being said, agree with PwC1! If heās otherwise shady it could be shady.
Help to hear this side, thanks! Otherwise not shady at all so thatās why this surprised me
I think it would be good to understand if a.) he doesnāt post much on social media at all or b.) he is pretty active but doesnāt post / tag pictures with you. My husband barely uses social media and I post enough for the two of us š but if he is of the category b, either he thinks itās too early or maybe something is suspicious. Either ways go with you gut feeling!
Unfortunately itās B
Some people like to move in silence. Had a friend who never posted her bf until they were engaged. Only close friends knew she was even taken let alone in a serious relationship. It shouldnāt mean much especially if this tracks with his previous behavior.
It depends. My bf & I have never posted each other but I know his intentions & Iāve met all of his friends & family. If your boyfriends intentions are pure, then it doesnāt matter
Conversation Starter
My boyfriend doesnāt post at all. His last post was 3~ years ago. I donāt mind it, since I donāt post him a lot either. I think it would be a red flag if he posted a ton and didnāt include you. I would mention how important it is to you, and it would mean a lot to you, but donāt force him too. Talk about what it means to you, and your concerns regarding the fact that he doesnāt post about you. His response will tell you whether itās a red flag or not.
Rising Star
Follow your gut.
Have you met all of his friends? Or family?
Iāve met a lot of his friends, but none of his fam (who all live in the same city as us)