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At long last!
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Chief
I didn’t pay off my spouse’s loan. She didn’t even have to take it because I paid for her tuition.
I don't think it's a flex. He helped his wife achieve her goals. That's how I see it.
My situation is same. I paid for my wife medical school and after she started working, she paid for my MBA.
We both hustled and live paycheck to paycheck at times but got out without any student loans.
The correct answer is Yes. If you answered no, then you’re not ready for marriage. End of discussion. Thanks 😀
I think the correct answer is: “Be open to it”.
I’m paying for my wife’s MBA.
What’s wrong with it?
Our finances will be the same anyway.
Once you are married, it isn’t “your” loan or “my” loan, it’s “our” loan.
I wanted to pay mine. I entered the marriage with $100k in loans from grad school and felt it was my responsibility. My husband took on more of the rent/everyday expenses so I could put more towards my loan. By the 3rd year of marriage I paid it off and was really proud of myself. I recognize I couldn’t have done it without him paying for more of our expenses. Like PP said he saw it as us wasting money by paying more interest and that became not a “me” problem but an “us” problem. Never made me feel bad about it but rather supported me by making sure we were being fiscally responsible but also allowing me to take accountability.
This feels like a joke to ask. The moment you are married, all of your money is the same in a very literal legal sense. Who is then paying it off? Both of you. How much you choose to pay off is a bunch of factors but be very clear that any payment made is you helping to pay off your spouses loan regardless of bank account.
"oo ma go truue Lou"🤣🤣
Chief
Yes
Yes.
Yes
No that’s on you and your dad lol
Rising Star
What happens if you get divorced? Just lit the money on fire or is there an agreement?
I don’t make good logical decisions because of my job, the job doesn’t define me, I got this job because I can make good logical decisions. Somehow we’ve been lead to believe being logical, and avoiding high risk decisions should be thrown out when it comes to love. It’s why so many get in trouble. It’s why so many are divorced as well. If you’ve found the right person, they will not only be in support, but encourage making good decisions before getting married
Her money is your money and vice versa
I mean, we got married, they became our loans. Didn’t make sense to have this debt hanging over our heads. That said, she committed to adding to our savings acct each month
The only situation in which I wouldn't expect to pay off my hypothetical future spouse's loans would be if they wanted to for their own sense of worth/accomplishment (i.e., an attitude along the lines of "I took these out and it's my goal to pay these off with the earnings my schooling provided.") I'd certainly try to convince them to let me contribute, especially the higher the interest rate/overall amount, but if their sense of worth costs a reasonable amount of interest without holding us back from our goals, I'd personally view that as a worthwhile investment.
But like others have said, marriage is about being a unit and doing things together. I can't imagine getting married with the gradeschool mindset of "this is mine, that is yours, and I'm not gonna share with you." This is the one person whom I'm choosing to share EVERYTHING with (yes, I realize the need to retain one's individuality even within a marriage, but I'm speaking at a high level), so I'm not going to hold back my resources. I can't imagine permanently attaching myself to someone without the desire to do everything I can to help them become the best version of themselves. Everything that helps them helps me and vice versa - it helps US.
Shared finances in a marriage are not a necessity. Everyone manages finances differently. What’s important is willingness to change if circumstances change. In marriage, you focus on what’s best for the family. There is no one right way.
As an example, my husband and I do not share finances in nearly 15 years of marriage. We split up who pays for what. It keeps us comfortable and avoids the tension that comes from discussions about finances. There are enough things to worry about with our multiple kids. I don’t want to question the cost of his hobbies, as long as other financial goals and responsibilities are met. But we are also in a situation when we don’t have to combine finances. Things could change if one of us had to stop working.
Do you have a prenup or some contract spelling out the divided nature of finances? If not, wouldn’t they be considered combined if you all got divorced? (If one side wanted to force that issue). Just curious since it’s always fascinated me that people don’t combine finances.
Can never be me
I sure do. Its a Porsche I’ll never drive.
No, thank goodness she had a full basketball scholarship.
Big discussion for us because my wife was not fiscally responsible, loans ballooned, and we met/married after all of that. Reached resolution to pay them off (not wait for relief) & get legal doc that in separation, this large pay off would be credited against her part settlement.
Simps.