Has anyone intentionally dropped a connection with someone you are an influential mentor to? If so, why?

I’ve been trying to catch up with a mentor and while he sounds down/texts back promptly, it’s been challenging to actually plan a time. He can be quite forgetful, but over the last 4-5 months I’ve tried a few times the day doesn’t get set. So I’m starting to wonder if it’s intentional.

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I’m sorry to hear this. It could be just that he’s busy? What kind of plans are you trying to make? Asking because it is a lunch, dinner, etc? Maybe suggest something that is less time but can be meaningful in the same way.

If you have specific questions or topics you want to discuss - maybe ask for a call or video chat.

People can be busy and mentoring isn’t always at the forefront but I can assure you (as a mentor), the time invested always keeps me coming back to me mentees and knowing they’re striving to be their best. I think it’s a give and take relationship and one of us is usually busier than the other but it does take 2 to make the relationship grow and continue.

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I might try this, thanks! One other possibility is he may be uncomfortable being seen by someone he knows because he’s in his 50s and I’m in my 30s, F. I could understand that, but we could easily pick a place where we won’t run into someone (in my opinion).

Never know what is going on with the other side, but it is unfortunate to not be communicating that when you are trying hard to figure things out. Maybe if you feel like they are still a good fit, try to be precise and get questions answered or whatever in their time.

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I’m getting a positive response/texting back and forth, so I’d like to hope it doesn’t fall to the back of his mind entirely

Mentor/mentee relationships can sometimes be tricky because after a few meetings the mentor may not get much from the interaction. Or they just don’t know what to say. Instead of asking for a meeting or general career advice, ask specific questions/for advice on a problem you’re having - something that he can answer. If the question is deep enough let him propose a meeting to discuss. It’s possible he doesn’t want to chit chat when he’d rather take a nap.

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It’s not as formal as a structured mentorship program. It formed organically. He has definitely helped me with things, but there are a couple of people I’ve connected him to as well. That’s one reason it is odd, but I’ve also left the company now.

And yes - some days you’d rather just stay in than grab a beverage after work.

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