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Chief
You don’t. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and super toxic cultural norms.
I would suggest going to therapy to explore what kind of boundaries I want to set with your family, and how to do it.
I would recommend having an honest but loving conversation with your family about how this behavior makes you feel and how important it is for you to have their support. 
I’m south Asian, so I know the struggle. i’ve set a lot of boundaries with my family, and I’m at the point now where I have a relationship with them on my terms or not at all.  my family understands that if they want to see me they have to play by my rules. 
South Asian here. Ugh, our culture can be so so toxic and sexist- I'm sorry you're going through this. Definitely not your problem and you should always make decisions for your own happiness and NOT due to the pressure. It is 100% possible to thrive and excel without being married and the previous generation doesn't get that.
I'm also struggling with boundaries with parents, etc. Here's what I've learned so far.
1. Therapy helps. Try to get a south Asian therapist if you can.
2. How does their laziness/personality affect you? Either you recognize that it doesn't affect you in a significant enough way and it isn't your problem. This is easier said than done :( Or you try to meet those needs in new ways.
3. Find allies. For me, it's my brother. We vent to each other and advocate for each other when necessary. I also have some friends who I talk to regularly to maintain a sense of human connection and have meaningful, fun conversations.
4. Set boundaries. Literally I've cut down how much time I spend visiting or talking to my family and I feel better. I have more energy to process things and do my own thing.
Sending good vibes to you!
It's amazing what people do when their own ass is on the line.
As long as you are there, or you're going to be there soon enough, they don't have anything on the line because it can be dumped on you.
All the best with the job search, etc. As much as we love our families, having space is important. If we keep giving and giving eventually there won't be anything left to give- so take care of you :)
Pro
I’m sorry OP but really not much you can do. Desi here, just got married at 34 and my mom was in literal depression the last few years with Covid + my singledom + everyone worrying about me like I have friggin cancer
Rising Star
You can’t change other people. Live your own life on your own terms and if your mother or anyone else has a problem with that, tell them to do the same. You’re not responsible for anyone else’s happiness or sadness or laziness or any other “ness.”
Conversation Starter
I know I really don't have a place in this conversation as a western woman but at the risk of sounding insensitive...to Hell with that toxic and selfish behavior. I am so sorry OP that your family would ever make you feel so undeserving of what makes you happy. You DO deserve the love you want AND the support of those who are supposed to love you. Your mom should be thrilled that you're refusing to settle, that you're not reliant on anyone else, that you've been able to make a successful career and live a full life embracing yourself instead of trying to appease some antiquated cultural expectations.
I hope your family come to their senses and learn to accept and even celebrate your choices. If not, know that a lot of us here are rooting for you, anyway. ❤
Conversation Starter
I ask about how I can really encourage my family to stop being lazy because I do know that me being single should not really impact how others can live life
In India, we often live borrowed lives.
Parents live for their kids, who in turn live for their kids who in turn live for theirs. Off late, that sad, toxic chain is being broken.
Your parents might be feeling unsure of what to do with their lives because, they are not familiar with living for themselves. I know- it’s insane. :/
Conversation Starter
Yep! That’s how they lived their lives. My parents are both the last in their families so their goals were more of 1. Continuing traditions 2. Moving to the US and having a family here 3. Have kids follow suit. There’s not been many times that they made decisions by themselves and they heavily relied on their parents or elder siblings. I’m venting atm but it’s just sad that they think I’m being too selfish for wanting something else than what they had done in their times and also the fact that they heavily rely on me for their happiness
Pro
I’m really sorry to hear this.
You are absolutely right. The choices you make are not directly correlated to anyone’s personality choice.
While your mom may wish for you to be wed, perhaps saying “Mom I’m being patient as this is a huge life decision that impacts our entire family. I love you and appreciate your concern”
Pro
I completely understand but she has to take those steps and come to that realization herself or through the help of a counselor. It is not your responsibility, do not take on this emotional weight of hers.
As her daughter all you can do is demonstrate love/ empathy while keeping your boundaries maintained for your own well-being
You tell them you are happy with your life and that’s what should matter to them. You also tell them it bothers you that their happiness depends on your marriage and that’s a huge responsibility to put on someone and this guilt would cause you depression and ask them if they want to be responsible for your depression? Then I will try to unplug! You are not responsible for anyones feelings in this case OP. I’m middle eastern and know exactly what you are going through
Rising Star
Cut them off
Rising Star
Ok then state your boundaries with the threat of cutting them off. Its the only thing that resonates with my own mother.