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I’ve had one of these and I had to be very direct with her that her demeanor and behavior negatively impacted the department and it simply could not continue and if it did then she was risking corrective action, which was not wanted but would be needed if there was no change. We discussed the root of the issue, which was she just did not like the job and she was staying out of comfort, even though it was impacting her mental health. That conversation led her to seeking out a new role in the organization that gave her more excitement and an opportunity to try something new, I was able to advocate and she got the job, which was a good change for her and allowed her to keep a job without moving towards termination.
Sometimes that is what is needed, being compassionate yet honest, clear, and firm.
Edit to add: we had multiple conversations before this final one. She would improve for a few weeks and revert back to her behavior of rolling her eyes, being unapproachable, snappy, complaining, and showing overall discontent with everything and being negative consistently.
I think this is the root of their issue and my call this morning I asked them to look at open positions or even LI to find their ideal position so we could work towards that for them.
That's tough, because although it's in the work place it's not directly related to their work.
Do you have team meetings? I would try to be extra positive there, in a vague way address the things the negative team member says, and remind the team that they're fine. Maybe give the team tools to deal with the negativity or to focus on positivity. The world has always been a messed up place, this isn't anything new. So I would also hope your team has their own individual ability to help themselves when dealing with this person.
If it continues, I would have a private conversation to let this person know how they're affecting the team and tell them it needs to stop. I would also let the team know that it's okay to set boundaries and walk away from non-work related conversations that make them uncomfortable.
If you are not already, you need to do regular one-on-one a so you can get to know them better and possibly figure out how you can help them be less negative. Even saying things like "I am so appreciative of how you are always thinking of issues that other people may have overlooked, but is there a way that we can work to make sure your ideas are communicated as opportunities instead of obstacles?" That way you are acknowledging that you hear them, that they are valued, but also that there is a change needed.
In team meetings, one thing I also like to do that helps us be positive, but also gives an outlet for the negativity, is that everyone starts with something great that has happened since our last meeting, something they are struggling with, and something they have learned. They can be personal or professional, and the only rule is they can't be backhanded, eg "it's great that I haven't died of boredom" or "I've learned that I can get an extra 40 minutes of sleep if I keep my camera off."
That’s not the main issue at hand, but the “self brag” is because they want a higher level position and need to be able to report out on wins to get to that level. If they aren’t comfortable reporting out on the work they are doing, how will they handle presenting work in manager level meetings?
Coach
I have used the rubber band around the wrist before. Ask her to snap it for every negative thought or statement. Another option is to ask her to provide 2 positives every time she expresses a negative. And, it should be against policy to discuss non work/world issues on company equipment. Finally, ask her where she sees herself in 1-3 years. Perception is key and any manager interested in her skills is going to think twice about bringing her into their department.
I feel like what you’re talking about is toxic positivity, unless I’m misunderstanding what they’re being negative about. I’m sorry the world is a burning pile of trash right now. Everyone is losing their jobs. Train derailments everywhere - some people can’t drink water because of it. More school shootings. Lgbtq people are being targeting at higher rates than ever. Etc.
Every single person I work with has voiced concerns about what’s going on in the world and if my boss told me we couldn’t that would be a problem.
Have you offered any empathy or given them a safe space to talk through their feelings? If they have legitimate worries and your response is “you’re being negative” I can see the issue. Kind of hard to tell from your post what exactly this person is being negative about except the world in general, which yes.
I 100% understand the world is a dumpster fire and I’m all for commiserating on that when the topic is relevant. But if their default for work related projects is “I don’t know why I’m having to do project y because it won’t matter because the world will be gone in 10 years” then that behavior is not relevant.
My COO is the most negative human I have ever met. I keep sending him books, hoping that some day he might stop belittling people. My primary goal is for our turnover to decrease…or for him to have an epiphany and just start saying things a different way. He has no idea how this affects productivity
It is work related as the manner in which they do their job affects the rest of the team. Soft skills.
If they are concerned about the state of the world is there a project this person can do to help the company help those situations? They clearly have a passion but need to find a constructive outlet that could even help the company
Put her charge…)