How to move forward after a break up, in a healthy way? I'm 30, been in a relationship my whole 20s. I'm scared. Never lived alone and haven't really dated in this treacherous environment though I'm not rushing into that anyways. I just feel like I lost my bestfriend, like someone died. So please give me some words of wisdom yall

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You will be okay even though it doesn't feel like it now. Cry if you need to, that's normal. Learn how to do things by yourself again. It builds so much character. Discover yourself again as an individual. Don't rush into the next relationship to fill the void. That doesn't help. Spend the next year (or even longer) being single and healing. Lean on your friends and community for support.

likehelpful

You are not alone. I spent 5 years with my best friend and what everyone in our families thought would be my husband.

It felt like a divorce. It took me about 5 years to get over him even while in a new relationship.

I had to start over with new friends and I changed the city because our whole lives were intertwined.

However, I prayed and worked on all the things that I desired to do that I could not pursue in my relationship at the time (work in another state/country ect.).

I was able to find my new best friend that has a similar temperament. We mesh well together encourage each other and have vowed to never run away when things get hard.

This is the relationship I wanted and I did the work to get it.

Good luck keep your spirits positive because you can find what you need, eventually. Do not settle.

likeuplifting

I got a therapist for 3 months after just to grieve and grow and make goals for myself it was heavenly and I started dating again and loved the journey. You got this and yes losing a best friend of many years is painful but you learn to move forward.

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Breakups are kind of like a death, you will grieve. Give yourself the space to do so at your own pace then pick something that brings you a lot of joy and occupies your time outside of work. Maybe exercise, volunteering, photography, etc to help you build a routine.

likehelpful

reconnect with yourself mama. new hobbies, get a trainer, etc. fall back in love with the simplicity and everything else will follow.

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It’s really hard because it’s new and you’re still in it and living in his house still. Just know that it WILL get better and you’ll come out of this stage but it is hard. Cry. Feel. It’s ok. As others have said, do not jump into a new relationship. Live. Alone! It’s good. I have an aunt who never lived alone until she was about 50. That was shocking to me. It’s important to enjoy your own company and be independent of another human being. After you get out of this tough, cloudy place, enjoy your time, freedom, peace and yourself. Good luck.

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Thank you, your post gave me some confirmation I needed as I was considering rooming with a friend but I felt God was telling me He wants me to be alone so that is exactly what I will do.

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here are my words of wisdom, you have lost nothing and gained everything; because you now get to find yourself.
There is nothing lonelier than a broken marriage.
At this juncture, that would be your future - and you don't want that at all.

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Thank you, I am trying to look at it that way as well. I've gained a lot and learned a lot

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Thank you, ladies. I'm definitely trying to keep my head up, pray and just reflect. It's hard because I'm still living in his house and I'll be moving soon as I can. Feels like I don't have the space to grieve properly right now.

Yes, it's hard when you are still living with him. Who ended the relationship? I pray you move as soon as possible.

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