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"One martini please"
DONT quote James Bond. You will look like a tool.
Hold the vermouth.
2 tinis. One for you and one for your date
"Vodka martini no vodka"
You order an old fashioned instead
Shaken not stirred
Hendricks gin, a little bit dry and a little bit dirty. Always shaken and served straight up
Stirred. Shaken is for amateurs
You don't order a martini.