How would you react to a partner saying “I think we pay you too much” as a snide remark because i moved to a nicer apartment than earlier, very well knowing that we have had salary reductions since i joined and, no bonuses (and i worked more than 2000 hours in 10months of joining). I let it slide with a “I really wish”. But it’s still making me so angry because i feel very underpaid.

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I ignore 99% of stupid comments. Life is too short to let knuckleheaded comments get under your skin.

likeuplifting

He or she is awkward but trying to be funny. As for the comment, Ignore and be thankful you're not on that wavelength.

Being underpaid is another issue, and you owe it to yourself to fix it whether by hitting it head on at your current firm or leaving.

likehelpful

If you are underpaid, then apply elsewhere and either leave or leverage the offer for a higher salary.

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The other response is to just stare at them with a shocked look, like I can’t believe you said that. Then just wait. Either the person apologizes because they realize they said something offensive or digs a deeper hole. Don’t go down to their level.

I agree on the pay issue - start looking.

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Are you on your way out? If I was in a good mood, I’d just say “that’s an interesting comment.” If I was in a pissed off mood, I might say, “huh. Market in [my city] for an associate with X years experience is generally $salary but I guess I’m just lucky to be here.” (Don’t do that.)

likefunny

Not yet, but definitely looking. I was in no mood for her shit, All that came out of my mouth trying not to be rude is “I wish..i really wish”.

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Op, it would be easier if we all were in the office. You could drop by her office and say “you have a minute?” As it is I think you should send her a zoom invite for a time her calendar is open labeled “Catch up with [your name]. You have to match the words to your style but the idea is:

You: I appreciate you taking the time. I wanted to check in to make sure I’m getting you what you need. And I also would like to talk about something you said the other day that’s been bothering me.

Her: I think you’re doing fine. Anything in particular you want to ask about? [she sounds like someone who’s self centered and unlikely to give you substantive feedback, but maybe she will surprise me]

You. Glad to hear that. During Covid it’s hard to figure out how I’m doing. The other thing I wanted to mention is a comment you made the other day. You said something about paying us too much. I try not to take things personally but that statement really bothered me. I really worked hard last year and think I did a pretty good job. Even so I didn’t get a bonus and got my pay cut that made it hard to pay my loans and expenses. I know it was a tough year all around and I love my job. But what you said felt like a slap at my effort.

Her: ?

It’s hard to script the whole thing because I don’t know know other one of you. But that’s how I would frame the issue. What do you think?

likehelpful

OP, what’s your relationship with the partner?

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It’s her problem—not yours. If she really thought you weren’t worth it, she wouldn’t say it. Chalk it up to zero social skills and swan on by.

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Many lawyers have the social ability of a rock. If they make jokes like that, while underpaying and over working you, start looking for another firm ASAP. If a partner is acting that way, it’s a top down cultural issue at the firm and will likely never change. Don’t ignore red flags 🚩

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