I am 27 F and my bf is 33 M
My bfs parents come over every month and we usually go out to eat at a restaurant. my bf pays for everyone or his parents will. He recently told me that he think it’s rude that I’ve never offered to pay the bill (for everyone). I would find it weird for me to pay since it’s not my parents, I’m way younger than everyone, my bf makes double what I make, and his parents are retired and have a lot of money. AITA?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

NTA. It’s his family and their tradition. It wouldn’t occur to me to pay in this situation, and I am very much a 50/50 person. Is he otherwise focused on money? Is this out of character? Wondering if his parents brought it up to him….

likesmart

Yup, OP is fine and this whole kerfuffle looks bad for the BF and potentially his whole family.

Your boyfriend is investing in you and your relationship by including you with his family and paying for you often. It sounds like your bf wants to see more of an effort and gratitude from you. How much they make is irrelevant, you can find things within your budget (even treat them to ice cream) or make a dinner at home. It’s the thought that counts, and entirely what’s missing from you.

As far as having dinner too often, you’re an adult and you can communicate if you would prefer to skip this month’s dinner. I don’t think that frequency is too often in my opinion if you’re dating someone seriously. Getting to know the family better would help me determine if this is someone I want to be with long term.

like

They go 50/50. She pays for him outside of those dinners, as well as when they’re with her parents, so she is investing in him as well.

Sounds like there are a lot of assumptions about what the boyfriend wants or what’s missing from her because we don’t know what the dynamics are other than them seeing the parents for dinner occasionally. Maybe it is just their norm that children pay for their parents, while it isn’t for her. That’s fine.

like
Recent IconRecent

Depends on how long it’s been without any offer to pay or help pay.

Dating for 10 months officially

He probably just want you to look generous in front of his parents. But maybe he can phrase it better

Do you ever buy dessert or bring gifts for them? I do think it’s a bit rude to have many free meals and not contribute anything even if you don’t think it’s appropriate for you to pay.

Yes during holidays I made them desserts and cocktails and gave them a Christmas gift.

like

All those calling her boyfriend a woman. As a woman, I take offense. I am in no way stingy or need my boyfriend to pay for my family. It is true thought I like it when he offers - even if its just for dessert or drinks and not the whole meal.

I think it’s more about the sentiment of offering to pay , vs. actually paying.

Everything doesn’t have to be transactional and data/numbers-driven, most especially relationships.

Yes

I’d at least choose the venue once (whatever is comfortably within budget for you) and offer to pay. As others have observed, it’s not so much about the money, but the thought/gesture behind it. Also 6 years isn’t a huge age gap lol

Why not split it with your bf when he pays one time

Maybe you could offer to cook dinner for them as your treat?

Take this as humor but it seems fitting

https://youtu.be/T1B_0IIa-AI?si=v2F_fdAIMFbUKTvk

Oh hell no, girl, that is not your department. This might not be your ideal guy long term.

Treat to desert or something? If you are planning on long term, these would be your inlaws, no?

Dessert *
Reverse roles with with him. How would you expect him to show up if it were your parents?

Related Posts

Has anyone interviewed or interacted with Square? Thoughts as an exit opp? Trajectory and compensation?

like

Hands on Skills in COBOL,DB2,JCL,VSAM

I have been looking for job change and when I speak to HR's with the expectations of around 25 LPA fixed( my current salary is 15 LPA)... Most of the companies are directly rejecting my profile saying budget issue...

But is it really more that i am asking for or is it because of the my skill set?

like

Hi Fishes!!

As per current market standards, people getting 100% + hike mostly. How much hike one can expect in JPMC? Does JPMC hire people with 100% hike?

Tech stack - Java

like

What’s the best way to maximize having both the chase freedom unlimited and sapphire preferred?

For context, I’ve had the unlimited for 2 years and just opened the preferred because of the bonus offer. I will hit the $4k spending target, but after that, what’s the best way to use these two in tandem, given the unlimited rewards are all around much better.

like

Anyone have a gauge on salary of a supply chain professional with 12 years experience?

like

Should I take Data Science Sr Analyst role at Accenture? Are projects and growth rate good at Accenture?
Please someone suggest.

like
like

Deloitte senior managers - comp? Sales targets if any?

like

B4 manager (tech consulting) with 10 years of exp. What’s a realistic compensation range for an industry exit? Targeting tech companies (ideally FAANG). Thank you!

likehelpful

Simon-Kucher & Partners Ballpark salary/bonus at Senior Consultant / Manager levels at Simon-Kucher & Partners ? 5 YOE

like

Hi o9ers, Do we have any option to convert part of our salary to shares?, my main purpose here is to save tax here, who can we contact to do the same if that is possible?

How do you know if your getting paid your worth? Accepted a job offer and haven’t started yet but I’m questioning the offer 😕

likehelpful

hello! what will be my monthly take home as per this? does anyone know what special allowance means.

theyre offering me this for the position of an operations consultant 1 at EY India with 3 yoe

Post Photo
like

Got offered 115K with 25-30% bonus for a fund accountant role with 3 years of public experience. Is that normal? Seems like really high. I live in NY to clarify. Combination of Big 4 and midsize experience. What’s the normal salary range for ppl in that range?

like

Buy/lease now or defer to Q1-2023?

My car broke (engine seized, 10y old). I am interested in 530i ($62k price), however 3year lease is $1,000+ monthly (with $5k down). Monthly lesse payment is 50% more than bmw advertised offers (“south FL dealers are not participating in the program”)

Q to car gurus/experts- should I defer purchase/lease for 6 months? My logic, the impending recession will reduce demand and we will go back to more balanced market (lower prices with negotiation).

like

Is Carvana legit? I've never seen any reviews just a hundred commercials. I could google this but wanted to know if anyone in here sold through them successfully. Thinking of selling my Benz E350, 2013. Let me know.

like

What is annual hike in ey gds in risk advisory senior role

like

Hi folks,
I have 3 offers -
Born group offering me a lead role with 23 lpa
Epam offering me a senior dev role with 25 lpa
IBM offering me a manager role with 30 lpa ...

The decision looks very clear where many are suggesting to go with IBM but still from other aspects like WLB, hire/fire attitude,culture, growth etc what is recommended? For me being a mother WLB takes priority since I have quite a few family responsibilities ...

like

Still using Ally Bank savings account, but the APY had dropped to .60%. Time to move. Any recs on personal savings account? This is my emergency “savings”

like

Hi All,
How much CTC can I ask Hcl technology? I am holding offer of 7.5 Lpa and 9.5 lpa is in pipeline.
Yoe - 2.6 yr
Tech stack - .net + angular

like

More Posts

Guys Could you please help me with a referral in PwC .. preferred Location Kolkata

YOE 1 YR 10 MONTH
Technology - Sql, FTL, Jira, jenkins, Bitbucket,Agile Methodologies , Htmlcss, bootstrap, angular (beginner level), Core java

*Ready to move to New Technology


currently in notice period 29days left ..if you have anything me , please help 😊

like
like

Anyone struggling with imposter syndrome? When I worked for a very well known Fortune500 tech company I couldn't help but feel major imposter syndrome. One- I am a woman in a male dominated industry, I didn't go to a prestigious school like most of my peers and I just didn't think I deserved to be there. Everyday was a struggle and tried to keep myself small so no one would find out I was a "fraud." Looking back on it now, wiser and more experienced, I realized how detrimental feeling that way

like

Best happy hour places in dowtown? Office location is brightline station so someting relatively close would be ideal. Trying to take advantage of happy hour since i never come into office😅🥲

like

Openings at Commonwealth Bank India

Having experience in Data Analytics 0-3 years.


✉️Send your CV -
niket.kedia@cba.com.au

➡️Subject - Analytics at Commonwealth Bank

👨‍🎓👩‍🎓🧑‍🎓 Freshers are welcome to send CVs.

like

Hello Fishes,

Need a referral for delloite for Power Bi having 4YOE. Any body who are ready to help please DM me.

like

People moving from KGS to KPMG canada.. how do you do that? Joined kgs few months back in consulting.. Is this a permanent Transfer or just an onshore assignment for sometime?

like

Is anyone heard the news that leaders got an email that avoid leaves for next 3-4 months bcz lots of work about to come (vese to humesha hi hota h par usse b jyada hoga) might be split is the reason??

like

It’s crazy how much close friends influence you.
Would you stay friends with someone that consistently makes bad financial decisions. Or distance yourself for like-minded folk.

I have a friend that is constantly trying to guilt me and pressure me into overspending, especially on “luxury” items. But I have different goals for my money and she doesn’t seem to respect that.

like

I get Waddle & Pollard, I give away Mattison and Davante Adams. Good or bad trade? I am 0-3.

like

Can you set automatic investments in TD Ameritrade? Looking to DCA at the start of every month into index funds without having to manually buy. Thanks!

like

Sooo…what about the Will Smith slap + yelling public expletives at the Oscars - Consequences?

like

Anyone try Celsius, the Gatorade drink? I think I heard about it on this app, but wasn’t sure if people prefer it to coffee?

like

Best things to do around but not in Austin (I.e dripping springs, Fredericksburg, Colorado river/lake Travis) preferably some kind of activity that isn’t eating or drinking?

like

Why companies asking pan card details for L1 discussion...... Is that fine to share the same....... Do any one can use our pan number to any fraud purpose......?

Post Photo
like

Hi All,

I have been offered 15000 PLN monthly gross with luxoft poland. Can anyone suggest after paying taxes how much I can expect in hand monthly. Also I have offer from hcl 14lpa and baker hughes and I have not negotiated offer with any of them. YOE - 3.5yrs. Also my notice period ending next month 8th July. Can anyone suggest what should I prefer?


Thanks.

like

Wipro Does wipro consider counter offers and give a hike on the same or atleast match it? I have shared an offer of 25lpa which I have received from another MNC to them and my interview with wipro went pitch perfect. Would they consider, thoughts?

like

Got verbal offer from Qualcomm on 16th sep but haven't receive any formal offer yet, hr is not responding . Is the delay normal?

like

In person corporate financial analyst interview questions? Suggestions on what to bring?

like

One of my senior managers is a boomerang and told me she was laid off when she was 7 months pregnant about 10 years ago. I think she was a senior or manager. She was in a specific group and everybody was laid off. It wasn’t performance based.

Would you work at your company again if you were laid off?

like

Additional Posts in Confession

I know we're supposed to live every day like it's our last, but damn it, after a long, stressful week of work, I'm so happy to just lay on my couch all night with some takeout and a cocktail!

likeuplifting

I recommend books I've never read to people who ask for book suggestions.

funnylikeupliftingsmart

What do you wish on your ex?

like

Does anyone remember limewire and Morpheus days. My computer had so many stds from downloading all those music files

likefunny

This made me lol 😭

Post Photo
funnylike

How was you memorial day weekend?

like

Post a pic of your food and I’ll rate 1-10. Friday food party begins here 🍜

like

Does anyone wanna share Spotify playlists? :D
I’m bored of mine :(

like

I don’t understand the whole “sending love and hugs” thing people say. Does anyone actually feel the love when they read that?

like

I’m seriously considering eating dinner at 5:30pm. Does that mean I’m officially old??

likefunnyuplifting

I want a baby 😭

likehelpful

Cant wait until baseball disappears forever. Boring, perfomance-enhancing sus af 69inning havinazz sleeping pill of a sport; the most boringazz sport in the history of exxxistence itself. Shiets like big pharma, putting the whole of humanity to zzzzzz good god I hope god deletes baseball even tho I dun believe god exists but truth is the real thing that shouldn't exist is baseball fuk

likefunnyuplifting

Just found out that my favorite aunt, who claimed I was her “favorite” niece, chose to leave all her valuables to her other two nieces who never visited or called her once in the last ten years. My aunt passed away suffering from cancer last year and didn’t have her own kids. I was there by her side throughout her battle. I still wish I had done more, made her life easier. I probably sound petty, but a part of me is forcing me to re-evaluate every interaction I ever had with her.

like

Fill in the blank: When guys want to impress a girl, they say “I was to show my ______ to you”

like

Woman approaching 40, dated once, LTR once and heartbroken by 32 as I found the man in LTR was cheating on me. Shut my heart completely to ensure never give anyone the power to hurt me. Today I wake up and see years have passed. I have checked off many bucketlist items being single for these years including solo euro trip. But now I feel I can’t go on forever. I just wish I had someone to plant a good morning kiss, like simple things in life. Hard to share these feelings, hence confessing

like

So my GF went to the gynecologist yesterday and they told her she was infertile, there go my chances of having one more baby. I also don't want to leave her because of that I believe that would be a dick move of me. What should I do?

likefunny

Women who went back/forgave your cheating partner, why did you do it? Did it work out in the end?

like

Something funny happened yesterday. Ordered take out for my family and went to go pick it up. I get there mask on, cold, my jacket is zipped to my nose. I'm like I'm here to pick up. He's like"how are you". Im like good. Then he's like"you're not going to ask me how I am". I'm like "sorry, how are you". He said he's good. Then her offers me some tea and was like drink this. So I take it politely. As I'm drinking it taking off my mask, dude is staring at me. 😭😭 Continued in comments

like

I was wondering if anybody on here has warned their replacement to basically run and not take the job?? I’m leaving my job next Friday due to a toxic boss that was hired three years ago. I have a week and a half to train my replacement who I really happen to like and I really feel like I need to warn her not to put down roots. I know I shouldn’t even be concerning myself with this, but I’m feeling a lot of guilt not telling her the real reason I’m leaving-has anyone done this?

like

Having trouble landing a decent job, I am 4 years post bachelors, environmental science. I can not seem to land a job above minimum wage. My last position (horticultural assistant) found myself taking on a good amount of projects that were being left unfulfilled, due to coworker politics (a few co worker’s wanted to see the supervisor fall short of expectations) in addition I had difficulty with my manager( sexual harassment) I rejected their advances, and I was laid off in December

likesmart

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal