I didn’t have much mom guilt after my first kid, or even after my second. I loved returning to work. Now I’m back after my 3rd and I’m torn like never before. Words of advice? All I want to do is...

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Leave to be there for their needs... emotional issues for my oldest boy, baby is sick all week, terrible 2s, lots of tantrums... But then I remember life will be harder if I’m not working for many other reasons. Has any just jumped and been able to re-enter the work force? I’m worried I’ll leave then never find my way back in. Maybe it would be a blessing in disguise. Maybe I should appreciate what I have?! So much in my head. Thanks for listening.

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I just had my third and returned. So far I am feeling okay but I think it’s so important to be honest with your supervisor about it and tell him/her what you need. I think organizations are learning that it’s better to be flexible with talented people they trust than to lose them and start over - that’s my opinion at least.

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Maybe be honest about needing more time etc - but not that you don’t want to be at work 🤪

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One thing I wish I would have done—put down the phone and don’t let work interrupt you for an hour when you get home—especially as they head into school. My nights always went better when I could dedicate good, quality time and not be distracted by an email or call. Find and enjoy the small moments and prioritize them.

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I feel you! Same thing happened to me. My day job seemed meaningless compared to what I was leaving it for. Which also made me realize I was not fulfilled by my job. So I left! Started consulting when my third was about 1 year old. It’s been much more fulfilling and the flexibility to be with the kids when I want has been 💯

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I went through the same after my 3rd. Took some time off and made my way back after a couple of years. (Ended up being able to nurse him until he was 2!) I needed that time away for me, for my family and to confirm I love what I do and wanted to give it my all by returning to work.

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There are a lot more programs now that help women return to the workplace after some time away. It’s all so hard and likely your feelings shift from one week to the next. I’d do my research on what it would be like financially without my salary, and try to at least get to spring/summer. I find that when winter viruses take a break, everything is a lot easier with respect to balancing work and childcare.

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Can you work from home more? Can you do a reduced schedule or something?

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For sure.. I need to do that.

I felt the same. It took an exciting project to get me into it again.

3 is HARD. And usually the thoughts in my head put even more unnecessary added pressure on myself. I try to focus on the things that would possibly make it better. More flexibility? Work from home days? Planning out some PTO for family time? And then I just pull the trigger and ask for what I need. I’ve spent too much time stressing about stressing and I’ve had to get pretty militant about focusing on the things that I can try to change to make me happier so that I don’t do anything rash. But I still have those moments when I just want to throw in the towel.

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