I don’t get it. How are you guys saving money? How do you have the discipline to not spend? I think I’m addicted to shopping and am depressed so that isn’t helping but have any of you bounced from similar circumstances?

I save first and then whatever is left I spend however the heck I want. If I spent first and then saved what was left, I'd never save anything.

What I found works best is to pay my savings account and my investment account automatically out of each paycheck. My check is deposited by my employer, and the next day a set amount comes out for each. What's left is mine to pay bills and live on until the next check shows up. I don't beleive in carrying credit card debt, so I only use it for the points and then pay it off each month. I won't charge anything I can't pay off. It's hard at first, but gets easier as it becomes a habit. Good luck!

Have you ever looked into something called Project Pan? It's a trend right now where people actively use up all of their products before buying more. It's a neat way to re-wire your brain away from constant consumption and move toward saving and investing. Maybe that could help you get started? :)

The only “problem” that spending richly has ever “solved” were problems born from a mistaken sense that I needed to maintain an external appearance of success.

Once I got past that I realized the things I really need for my own internal needs were not very costly.

I have the exact opposite addiction. I am used to saving money - the scarcity mindset. And i think a lot before making any spending. I research and know the base price of anything that i want to buy and if i have to pay anything above that base price, i feel guilty. I 34, single, make $220k/ year and have savings of 800k. But i have this urge to reach $1M asap, which is pulling me back from enjoying

You’re not alone in this at all 🤍 A lot of us have been there, especially when shopping becomes a coping mechanism during low moods. Be kind to yourself first.

A few things that have helped me and others:

1. Start with a clear, realistic goal (S.M.A.R.T).
For example:

“I want to save £300 in 5 months as a step towards financial independence,” or

“I want to save £500 by November 2026 to buy a gaming console for Christmas.”
Write it down and place it somewhere you’ll see daily. Visibility really helps with focus and motivation.

2. Start very small – build the habit first.
Try the 1p challenge for 100 days: 1p on day one, 2p the next, and so on. By day 100, you’ll have saved £50.50, just from pennies. It’s less about the amount and more about proving to yourself that you can save.
(My group and I are starting one on 1st January if that helps with accountability.)

3. Pause before you buy.
Give yourself a 24-hour pause before purchasing anything non-essential. Most impulse buys lose their power with time.

4. Redirect the urge.
Open a separate savings pot and name it something like “Impulse Buys.”
Every time you feel like shopping, transfer the money there instead. You still get the “action” without the regret.

5. Check in with your emotions.
Ask yourself: How do I feel before I buy? And after?
When you notice the pattern, try transferring those emotions into saving instead — it’s still a form of self-care.

6. Don’t do it alone.
Have a savings buddy or someone you check in with. Gentle accountability really helps.

7. Restart without guilt.
If you fall behind or stop, that’s not failure — it’s just regrouping. You can always restart.

Most importantly: don’t be too hard on yourself. Progress doesn’t have to be perfect to be real

I was in your situation, and probably worse, for my first few years out of college. Shopped to prop up my lack of self respect and to try to feel better. Ended up with little saved and 27k on credit cards.

Started listening to fire podcasts, and started a spreadsheet to track assets and debts monthly, and of course resulting net worth. That was a wake up call as it was negative net worth and had gotten worse while working. Then I read “your money or your life”. That shook me.

If you don’t have above mentioned spreadsheet, and have not read your money or your life, I recommend you start there.

7 years later, and now 31, and I save and invest about 40% of income, no debt, and 750k net worth. As income grows, hope to push saving / investing rate to 50%.

Automatic deductions from paychecks into retirement accounts can help when it comes to saving. If your paycheck can be direct deposited into two different bank accounts, it can help enforce a physical separation. If there is a 401(k) match at your company, not contributing up to the match is literally throwing away free money.

That being said, I have a single friend who makes about $190k/and travels a lot and doesn’t seem to save that much, including into an emergency fund.

If you are depressed, therapy and other ways to address that might be the first priority. Other options vs shopping include exercise, time with people you care about, etc

Also ditto automate your savings. If you don't have easy access to the money, you don't need to rely on discipline/motivation - you won't even see the money hit your bank account to tempt you. It's like other addictions: don't put yourself in the situation to be tempted, instead of relying on iron willpower when in the situation

I was raised by a frugal family in a country when it was poor. Even I feel the need to spend all the time after I started working. And I really haven't saved as much as I should. I can't imagine how bad the impulses are for you but I sympathize. Besides all the techniques people offered, I would recommend developing some low-cost hobbies. It will direct your mind away from material wants to creative urges. Also you will likely meet people who are also not very into spending, who might provide some good influences.

I had this and went into 25k of cc debt. I was addicted to the dopamine rush of ordering stuff and receiving it. Horrid habit. I got a second job and worked my butt off to pay the highest interest one first. I also opened a new card with $0 transfer fees and bought myself 2 years to pay it off while pausing the APY.
Delete the apps off your phone and work on the addiction before it gets messy. There’s a void you’re trying to fill and you should focus on it.

A lot of people struggle with this.

The folks counseling automation are right.

But also, you should think very carefully about the big spending decisions that form the foundation of your spending pattern, like housing, transportation, health insurance, travel. The right apartment, car, vacation type can make it much easier to save, and the wrong ones can make it harder.

Get used to the idea of driving a cheaper car and living in a cheaper house/apartment, and going on cheaper vacations, than your income peers. That frees up a lot of margin for saving.

I think you answered your own question... "having discipline" literally means doing what you need to do rather than what you want to do (when they aren't the same thing.) Your post shows that you know what you need to do. The discipline to do it is just a decision.

You need to set up a budget, assign a value to everything from each paycheck and only allow you to spend what is in a category. To save you need to be discipline and have a plan for your retirement. I like shopping also but I dont want to struggle in retirement.

I find it helpful to have a budget and understand your priorities. It doesn’t have to be perfect, you can tweak it based on how it feels.

Say you want to buy $500 of stuff. But you only have $400 to spend.

You need to think about (in advance) how to spend your money most efficiently to get the best outcome.

The first thing you need to do is to maximize your 401k contribution. That is done automatically so you won't have to think about it at all. The second thing is to make sure you pay all of your day-to-day expenses - rent, utilities, etc. The third thing is to have a disciplined saving plan - put a small but regular amount away every pay check, in a separate account or investment fund - whether it is $100 or $500 dollars to paycheck, start putting a regular amount of money away. Once your paycheck is posted, pay all of your bills and transfer, that regular small amount to savings (this can be done automatically, obviously). Develop a habit of saving. AFTER THAT, you can spend whatever is left over on whatever you want to spend it on.

The point is, and other people have made this point, is that the retirement saving comes first, and discretionary spending needs to come last. I don't think that anyone is addicted to shopping - I am not personally addicted to buying hotels or jumbo jets, because I can't afford them. If you want to be addicted to something, then become addicted to saving. Otherwise, you'll never have enough money to buy anything worthwhile.

I totally get what you're saying. Its a vicious cycle with being stressed from working, then wanting to treat yourself to feel better. The system made sure it happens that way...

I would say one of the best things I've used is an app called 'Rocket Money' (used to be called Truebill). I got it when it was beta. It has really opened up my eyes to my spending like whoa.

Some other things that my help you: 1) scan local grocery ads every week to see what is on sale 2) pay attention to sales and clearances for clothing, bath and body, house items, etc from Thanksgiving through NYE and also when most companies do their yearly inventory clearouts in Jan-Feb 3) find happy hours for appetizers and cocktails and/or mocktails.

It's definitely a way of life to be aware of your finances. But best to take slow, steady steps towards doing so. I think you'll find yourself seeking out more ways to save money to the point that it will become 2nd nature to you.

Not saving much. Booth spouse and i have demanding jobs. 3 kids with a dog. Spend about 2k/mo eating out then there’s mortgage, cars, daycare, kids activities, vet bills, impulse shipping…especially around the holidays. Just about break even.

Can’t retire with the clothes you’re buying lol

You need to create a budget and possibly get therapy for addiction to spending . Otherwise you will be spending your whole life working which can be impactful on children etc .

First off think about the root cause for the shopping - Are you shopping in person or online? If in person it might be that you’re seeking human interaction - so one to think about. If it’s just boredom and just clicking online then break the habit by doing something positive (gym, walk, read a book etc). For the practical element of saving then first list your income and outgoings to see what disposable income you have. If you have a target to save for (car, home repairs or whatever) that will help you focus on a goal. Then save a set amount first, leaving some guilt-free discretional spend; retrain your brain to get the reward from saving rather than the instant gratification of shopping