Related Posts
How bad is this trade war going to be?
CCB LOB hikes and bonus...input please
More Posts
How is performance measured at MBB?
Additional Posts in Consulting
New to Fishbowl?
Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Sounds like a good problem to have
Don’t think he married you because of money. I make 3x my wife and what is mine is hers. Doesn’t matter how little or how much she makes
@Fellow1 please continue to cite outdated and incorrect stats https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/09/millennials-divorce-baby-boomers/571282/
This makes zero sense to me. You both are one now. Who cares who makes more? It should be one pot. That's how this union should work. We have enough pressure to compare ourselves against others, why add to the stress by comparing your financials to the love of your life?
Ain’t sound like marriage to me.. more like roommate
I read a mental block on your side...Salaries do not equal value. Repeat it to yourself...my salary is not my value. To convince yourself...Examples of high value low salary professions: medical researchers, teachers, academics of many stripes, non profit workers, moms
Gross, E4
My spouse isn’t allowed to take a promotion until I am within 10% of their salary, to keep things fair.
K1, 😜😭
Is the feeling purely self imposed or does he do or say things causing you to feel that way?
Are you in audit?
Y’all are assuming OP is a woman
Ya this is stupid, there’s a much high chance OP is female 🙄
OP: Women historically have made less than their husbands. I’m not saying it’s right or fair, it just means that you aren’t going to be a trailblazer. I am sure you contribute in other ways.
My boyfriend is a foreign-trained dentist and will be going back to school soon to become an American dentist—dentistry is so strict about these things. Right now, we make about the same amount and when he is in school, I will likely be the only one with an income. That will change as soon as he graduates. He pretty much has an offer in the bag already as of this morning and we will be in great shape overall.
My skills in the kitchen, for example, definitely keep me confident in my ability to contribute around here no matter what. Also, my emotional support and talent in turning a house into a home mean a lot as well to him
Thanks! 😜
Does he work in Silicon Valley for Faang?
My wife makes 50% more than me. No issue. Apart from dented pride. But that’s fine no issue
No issue
My husband is a software engineer and makes half of what I make. He’s proud of me and doesn’t take it as a reflection on his value
I used to make 1/5th of what my husband makes, then I got a job that means I make more than him. His description of this turn of events was "it's like I won the lottery - I do nothing differently and I have more money!" You've won the lottery OP, and as long as your husband isn't pushing the narrative that you don't make enough, you should feel ok with the situation. It's hard to coordinate making the same as someone else, why stress about that?
Well, depends about your family history and life experiences.
Have you ever witnessed a relative be left behind with nothing? I have. Which motivates all my siblings and myself to have complete independence.
OP, technically you have financial independence despite the disparity. Instead of comparing your salary with his, envision what you want for YOUR future. If it’s a higher salary, what steps should you take to attain that?
OP- my husband made more than me for years, and I was jealous and never thought I’d catch-up. Then he got laid off- 4 years ago- had a few things fail, battled with depression, alcoholism, and is now making less than 50% of what I make.
Count your blessings that you both have good jobs and stop comparing. Life is a marathon not a sprint- you never know what will happen!!
Oh man that’s terrible. Best of luck to your family. Somehow I have avoided many rounds of layoffs at companies and it is a very stressful time and you can get totally wrapped up in it
Wife makes more than me and I’m proud as hell of her
My wife makes twice what I do as a Director and it has never bothered me or been an issue. And before the diversity warriors come out let’s be clear I’m a man married to a woman. To me it just means we’re putting away that much more and can give our kids a better life and retire that much earlier. My salary covers all expenses with some left over and hers + my excess is savings/investments. Depends on how you look at it. Obviously tougher if the bigger earner makes a big deal of it but I’m lucky enough to not have to deal with that.
I hear ya PwC - FB is some serious business!
I used make 2X than my boyfriend. What we both earn has never been a problem. Been together for 3yrs and bought a house together.
He figured he could get better if he switch jobs and he did that recently. Got a great job with a good hike. Still .... I make 1.5X more than him (I also got a new job and hike). We always make sure that we both equally contribute and we prioritize our expenses based on what we both can afford.
However we both gently remind it's the other person's turn to do the dishes. That's something we are working on it. 🤣
Don't decide your happiness based on your wealth. There is much more to a relationship than money.... like doing chores. Man, he never cleans the house. That drives me crazy.
I am in my 50s and I can honestly say that it would bother me if I didn’t make more than my wife. But I think it is a generational thing. She is a clinical psychologist working part time. Enjoys her work but also has plenty of time to do her own thing. And when the kids were young, she was the primary caregiver. My daughter is in her mid 20s just got engaged and is a first year associate at a law firm. Her husband has his PhD doing research for the imf. Making half as much? Maybe less? I’d guess that at some point she will decide to leave, downshift, or try to make partner. And he will have to figure out how to make up the $$ or they will have to change their lifestyle. But it doesn’t seem to bother them at all. Point is they have an understanding that seems to work so far. Hopefully it will continue as they buy a house, have kids, etc
My husband makes half what I make. He also used to joke after college that he married me for my future money because we knew with our career paths that I would earn more money. Aside from loving him and appreciating him for who he is as a person, and being impressed by the work he does (which arguably has more meaning than my work), a second income creates a lot of value and flexibility over time. If you ever have kids, a second income can be the difference between ok and better choices for your kids (childcare, extracurricular, etc.). If you don't have kids a second income can help you pay down debt, save, invest, help others, or achieve your bucket list as a couple. We are all part of an economy. I would recommend trying to explore your own feelings and possibly get connected to things that will help you realize your value and worth as a person is not tied to money.