I matched with a guy and we initially agreed to meet for the first time this coming Friday. Last Wed, he sent two messages on the app with suggestions but I wasn’t able to text back until Sat because I was traveling. He unmatched me. Am I in the wrong here? How often do you text people in the talking stage? (F in early 30s here)

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Someone was trying to make plans with you and you couldn’t find 2-3 minutes in those 3 days to respond? Yikes. I’d unmatch too.

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Don’t blame him for unmatching. We all have two minutes to respond and 3 days is a little much

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I think it’s a delicate balance and depends on the individual people and their lives.

I’m off the apps now but I never had notifications turned on. And for text (if we have exchanged numbers), I have it set to vibrate for everyone. So depending on what I am doing I may not respond right away.

I don’t think either of you are wrong, just different communication expectations.

I had a job that didn’t allow cellphones in the building so for 8+ hours a day, plus commute, and if I had errands, I may not have responded until 7-8PM. And that would have been if I wasn’t too tired. When I had a schedule like that I did try to let the guys I matched with know that I wouldn’t be available during certain hours. If you know you probably will be MIA I don’t think it hurts to let the other person know. Manage expectations

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Yeah literally our phones are constantly in our hands.
You have time what you make time for.
Most probably you didn’t like him enough either.

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I have the same issue! I’m not on the apps every day and am busy with work/life and often traveling. I’ve had people unmatch for me not responding within a day, but most understand when I am delayed a few days, not everyone’s lives revolve around check the apps.

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Like FMA1 said, 9ts really hard to judge who's in wrong here, as a guy am so frustrated who dating apps. Literally made plans with women who ghosted me and that has shaped the way I interact with women on apps. I personally wouldn't unmatch but wonder if you're using me for attention ( which unfortunately alot of people do on apps).
Moving forward, I think its better if you communicate ahead of time with someone regarding your schedule. This may fix the issue.
It may also be that he was using you to boost his confidence and when you didn't respond immediately it hurt his ego. Either way, move on.

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Thank you everyone here for giving your perspective. I did tell him prior to Wed that I was going on a biz trip but didn’t explicitly say that I’d be MIA (nor did I anticipate such long hours) But there are some really valuable comments here for me to approach communication moving forward.

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So silence Wednesday to Saturday? Curious if the table was turned how would you take it? He probably was thinking, if you are too busy to send a response in 3 days then you must be too busy to date. I would certainly think the same and not waste my time

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Great perspective! I'd also think the same way. Probably if the other person was informed before hand then he'll wait. Right?

Out of touch for a day or two is probably okay, but this does seem a bit long to respond. I’d probably either unmatch too or be skeptical about actually meeting on Friday (it would come off as a ghosting setup). Also agree with what folks say that communication expectations vary - have been in the situations where phone wasn’t allowed for 8+ hours but communicated that ahead of time

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