I see SO MANY couples where the woman is extremely attractive and the guy is average or even below average in terms of looks. I often look the guys up and it isn’t that the guys are rich or even funny. Just regular, plain guys. Women, can you please help me understand what’s going on?

likefunnyhelpfuluplifting
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Maybe they are just good partners? Reliable, devoted, kind, stable men?

likehelpful

No way it’s that! It’s a secret conspiracy!

likefunny

I’m a tall, thin pretty blonde woman and my husband is also tall and quite cute, but he’s not the hottest guy I’ve ever been with.

However, he is an exceptional partner. He puts in effort, is caring, committed, interesting to talk to, and so much more.

When I was dating around- I was looking for someone to be my future husband and father of my kids.

It’s not a big secret. You should probably just reevaluate how you treat women if you’re feeling salty about this

likeupliftingfunnysmart

I look around at all these incredible single moms in my area and I honestly don't get how they're being overlooked. As a man, I’ll tell you: if polygyny were legal, I’d be the most motivated guy on the block trying to marry them all! There’s something so attractive about a woman who’s already a mother—the 'biological clock' pressure is gone, the maturity is there, and you can just focus on the romance and building a great life. It really is the perfect stage of life.

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Selecting first for looks, status and riches is how you end up in toxic relationships.
If you first select for things like actual love, faithfulness, constant effort, and take it only as extra perk if they're hot, admired or rich, you'll find the optimal relationship.

Of course that still needs addressing for past trauma and unhealthy attraction to bad boys.

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But you won't know anything about the love, faithfulness or effort upfront while you can determine looks, status and riches right away. Most people aren't interested in dating someone they find repulsive to find out about the stuff you can't see until you get to know someone.

What’s the point of putting this on Glassdoor.

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Maybe they are better partners and if the girl is attractive they go to all lengths to please and satisfy the girl hence it works

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My opinion as a woman: 1) A woman's worth in our society is most of all based on her looks so many women take great effort to improve their looks i.e. hair and makeup, etc. When we don't use those "magic" tricks we can look downright unattractive in the eyes of many men. Just watch some before/after makeup artist videos; you'll get my point. So...lots of "attractive " women. 2) Most women don't place as high as value on men's appearances as men do on women. Yes, unfortunately there are money seekers, but also there are many of us that love/desire a man "simply" because he treats us well, is intelligent, or makes us laugh. These things can definitely be more valuable than good looks. If a woman is secure in herself, she's not concerned about what others think about how a man looks on her arm. Not to say anyone's fine with a man being a total slob, etc. just that his looks aren't usually the main focus except perhaps in a young(generally), insecure woman.

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Speak for yourself. I rarely wear makeup and I’m gorgeous and meet men all the time. People especially compliment my skin. I also don’t dye my hair in my 40s so commenting that women are a reflection of having their hair and makeup done sounds like YOURE unattractive without those things.

it's possible that women look at kindness, character, sensitivity, compassion, empathy and a strong moral compass more than physical traits that are here today and gone tomorrow. it's also possible that some men are realizing that if they learn how to cook and show their willingness to share household chores equally then looks don't matter as much.

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Yep! Imagine treating a woman like an equal partner! Anyone can do laundry, it's not hard. Anyone can shop for groceries, do meal prep, clean up afterwards, vacuum, fill up the car with gas, clean the bathroom.

I've sometimes heard dads say "I'm helping my wife out with the kids today." Really? I thought they were your kids too? Just the way that comment is phrased it's clear the expectation is that mom has 99% responsibility for the kids, and if she works outside the home too, that hardly seems like an equal partnership.

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Because looks aren't everything and same goes for money. He's probably a good partner that treats her well. There is no mystery.
Very attractive men tend to be very entitled. Entitlement leads to treating others as lesser than - so basically oftentimes these guys are abusive in some manner to various degrees. Women are fed up with being treated poorly or as lesser. We're choosing better partners or none at all.
(Attractive women can certainly be entitled too, but that's not really the issue here)

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There are way more beautiful women than attractive men in general. There aren't that many hot dudes anyway.

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There's just a lot more women who want serious relationships than men. Supply and demand. It goes the other way with hook-ups, which the manosphere is constantly salty about. An actual interest in commitment goes a long way for a man.

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+1

Women fall in love based on how the man makes them feel. You see attractive women with less attractive men because the man treats her well and adores her. Women need three A's which are Attraction (she needs to be attracted to him) Admiration (she needs to admire/respect him), Adoration (she needs him to adore her) and Men need 3 L's Lust, Loyalty and Labour (she does things for him, works with him financially)

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You were just on reddit with this same question word for word. Did you find your answer over there?

likefunny

I don't struggle finding men interested in me, however, men that are emotionally stable, genuinely want a real honest relationship, and aren't playing games seem to not exist anymore. So I could assume those "average" me, as you called them, are probably providing what the rest are not. Physical looks are what grab your immediate attention, but it's everything else that keeps attention.

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I often find the people that say this, don’t recognize their own short comings. They either play games themselves, lack mature communication, needy, unrealistic expectations, etc

We don't date people because of their looks. I mean, we'll find good looking guys attractive and DO get interested in them, but we can just as easily fall in love with an average looking guy. As you bond with them and fall for them, they literally become more attractive to you, and you don't even see the "average" anymore. With the exception of who I'm with now, ALL the loves I've had have been average and maybe even below that. Looks only matter initially. You should look up Jaclyn Smith and her husband. (don't know if you're old enough to know who she is-- original Charlie's Angel) now, that one I don't understand; there are some things that are deal breakers, and her husband would have been a dealbreaker.

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How to say you are a pathetic stalking Incel without actually saying it.

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Most physically attractive men are awful partners who won’t commit. So you go for the avg looking Joe who does commit and isn’t awful.

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Attractive is subjective. What's hot to others isn't necessarily hot to me.

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It’s not all about looks. There’s ppl that are attractive on the out side and they open their mouth n ins become unattractive- maybe he’s settling lol but seriously look get access but doesn’t keep you there either way

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I'm one of that guy.

The trick is to be proficient in the JavaScript stack.

likefunny

What an asinine and judgemental comment. Relationships aren't based on looks alone. If ypu think they are, you are the one with the problem.

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It falls under needs. Men and women have 3 basic needs. I guarantee you these women are getting their needs for acceptance, reassurance, and hypergamy met. However these do not look the same to every woman. Does she feel like who she matters and she is enough for him or like he’s trying to fix her? (Acceptance). When she has doubts about anything in life does he give her a safe place to work through them physically, emotionally, and spiritually? (Reassurance). Does he have a vision of where he wants to lead her and does he put effort into intentionally showing her he working on that vision? (Hypergamy).

Men are much more physical and visual based. If we are well fed, our sexual needs are taken care of, and we feel appreciated (appreciation is by far the most important) we will fight and move mountains for that woman.

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Not to be too critical, but I have seen other women posting this on TikTok. It may very well be that you see the women as attractive and the men as plain for the simple reason you are or have lesbian feelings and find women more enjoyable to be with. Just be honest with yourself and go enjoy that side of your life.

likefunny

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