I’m a POC, and I started a new role. I tried inserting myself by participating in small talk with my cubical neighbors. Small talk is not fun, but it's a start to getting to know someone. They seem disinterested. I have initiated 100% of our conversations.

I’m struggling bc I've been battling loneliness, and it would be nice to have a chat with someone on occasion. I loathe feeling like I'm being rude, but would you stop trying? It's a bit self-deprecating imo.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Given the info provided, I don't think being a POC has anything to do with it, some people just don't like small talk or doing anything but focusing on work.

likesmart

I’m a POC myself. I honestly hate when people use race as an excuse for everything. Are you the only POC in this company or location? If not, I’m sorry but that sounds like an easy bandaid fix to other reasons why people aren’t interested in small talk with you

like

Maybe try to shift when you’re trying to engage with coworkers? I’d rather not make small talk while I’m trying to get something done.

If you chat with people while they’re away from their desk and less busy (e.g. grabbing lunch/coffee or joining an ongoing conversation in the kitchen, rather than trying to grab someone who’s either working or trying to get back to their desk to work), you might have more success.

like

Great advice! Thank you!

Lots of
Folks are out of the habit of engaging in small talk at work. I wouldn’t assume it’s personal. That being said if you have tried repeatedly I would back off and just be cordial. Seek socialization outside of work - organizations, hobbies, and volunteer work.

like

Do you have friends in the area outside the office? I would focus on that. Sometimes coworkers are cliquey

like

I know exactly what you mean 😂

I would say hello/goodbye, but I wouldn’t worry myself too much beyond that. If you’re feeling lonely, be sure to connect with family and friends weekly, if that’s a possibility. Also, watching funny things before bed is one way to keep yourself upbeat. Not everyone is friendly.

like

Just be yourself. Don’t try too hard to earn someone’s interest. Work or that matter any friendship happens naturally.

It’s like getting on a train which already had passengers. They kinda know each other, it will take some time for them to know you. But in the end, no one really is there to make friends , just trying to get to a destination. If it happens, it is a bonus. Point being, don’t be upset if they don’t seem to reciprocate. Give it time, you will find your work spouse

like

I personally don't like small talk that much but especially when I'm trying to work. However, being dismissive or not inviting you to lunch while everyone else was invited speaks to a different issue.
Limit your interactions with them to simple greetings and work related discussion ONLY if necessary. If people show you they don't want/like you, don't fight for their acceptance, you'd only lose respect. Rather mind your business and do your work and you might find them coming by. If they don't that's fine!
Regarding your loneliness, leverage people outside of work as it may take some time to build friendships at work. I personally do not like work friendships at all. My coworkers are just that, then my friends are outside of work. But sometimes you get that 1 or 2 people you might end up clicking with at work and they become great friends.
But for now, focus on yourself and engage with your friends and community outside of work.

smartlikeuplifting

Thank you

People have different levels of chattiness, but not inviting the new person to lunch reflects very poorly on them. Regardless if race has anything to do with it. Not sure you can do much about it other than what you are doing. Try to find those open to connecting and focus your time there.

like

Thank you that is my goal. Thanks for your insight!

like

I have built really nice relationships with the maintenance and operational support people who work at the office. You may find them easier to engage in small talk with them. For me it’s now my favorite part of going to the office

uplifting

I decided to just be pleasant when I am spoken too (no good mornings and no goodbyes) and focus on my work and go home. Thanks for all the advice y’all.

like

I do not like engaging in small talk and I know plenty of others don’t either. I wouldn’t take it personal

I don't like engaging in small talk as well.

However, being new and trying to insert yourself in a work situation, that's where it has to be begin.

But thanks for your input

A lot of great advice so far...

I would add that maybe your small talk isn't what they want to talk about?

To build rapport its generally best to let others talk about themselves. Ask them questions you know they'll want to talk about ala Dale Carnegie. Also doing this at the opportune times is key, meaning not while they're busy (as mentioned earlier).

Give them a chance to talk about themselves, one on one and listen actively. You'll have rapport in no time.

Best of luck, some people can be very guarded at work, I'm typically one of them but the above approach has worked on me and for me.

Related Posts

Apply on below link if want referral in LTI
https://r.ripplehire.com/s/biDY1

Key Skills: SAP SD CS / SAP SD LE
Job Description:
- Should have good technical exposure to Primary skills/technologies: SAP SD CS / SAP SD LE
Good Client interfacing skills & should have involved in client interactions

Married men of this group,
What advice would you like to give to the younger generation who are single/about to get married?

like

Hi All,

I have basic to good understanding on RPA uipath, I would like to change my domain to become an RPA developer. Please DM me if there are any openings in HCL

Thanks

like
like
like

How have you combated your fear of rejection? I fixate on such small things as when my friends, for example, reject plans I have made. This definitely makes me more averse to putting myself out there and makes me ruminate on past perceived failures, which are clearly not good for personal growth

like

Hey fishies! Been a GVP consultant for 3.5 years now, hard work, tough “in trouble” clients, and just haven’t had the chance to work with a team long term! Been in the industry a while, current Head of DSPV and looking to jump back into FT work. Non-MD so it’s hard to find companies that will hire me even though I teach in grad school and headed for my PhD. Any thoughts? Openings?

like

Had a panic attack last night - my first in about 3 months. That knot of anxiousness in my stomach won’t go away and I feel unable to “unclench”. At home with family and they keep saying things like j

Feeling disheartened after sending out 100+ applications with radio silence back. No rejections but no invited to interview either. I feel like my resume looks good, but I have not gone the referral route as of now. 1 YOE

like
like

Good cologne to get my boyfriend?

Should I stay or should I go? Hoping to get some insight from those that went before me. I am a 6th year call working at a top20 firm in private M&A. Two kids and am in the position (continued below)

ResQ Ltd. is hiring for an Inside Sales Account Executive role and a Field Account Executive in Toronto. If you know anyone who has done tech, hospitality, or restaurant sales please reach out to connect!

What are the typical differences (+ and -) between PM Role in b2b and b2c organisations? Holding an offer from both, with 10L more in b2b and another b2c paying less. I’m thinking getting into b2c with lesser pay, however would help out in long term. Any suggestions here please? (Currently with 3.5 years as b2b PM, overall 8 YOE)

like

Horizon BCBS Project in Cognizant is having vacancy for Informatica Admin role, so if any of the PA/Associates/SA are currently on bench with Informatica skillset please let me know.

Cognizant

How high can google go on signing bonus ( currently $25k) and equity (currently $65k) for L4 position.. total exp 4 years .. should I negotiate?

like

Can I get a referral for a friend for a supply chain analyst positions ?

Advice on quitting job with short notice? I’ve always adhered to two-plus weeks notice, however got an offer and essentially want to start next week, can’t stand my current role, however it would be a BIG surprise to coworkers and leave folks short-handed for a while. Thoughts?

like

I recently got an offer from Verizon for ENGR II DATABASE, wanted to know what is the standard pay package for a 3 yrs experience guy in this role.

I am an Oracle Database Administrator.

#salary

like

Hi,
I had call with the HR for he position based out of Mumbai everything in interview and they are ready to share the offer. however, I quoted for 10 lakhs and they said for fixed pay of 8.75.
Although, i checked on Google as well average pay they are giving is 9.7 lakh
So should I accept the offer as per their negotiation or shall positively tell them why 10 lakh is justified?

More Posts

Is Fujitsu a service based or product based company?

like

Hello Jio folks,

I have an offer from Jio. Just wanted to know the work culture, learning opportunities and future in Jio.

like

@fujitsu How much is the ECTC or Market ask for ITSM Roles like Process lead or Managers for people with YOE of more than 10 Years ?

like

How much Director in Oracle Consulting get paid?

I’m an in-house litigator interested in transitioning to a hybrid litigation (50%) and diversity and inclusion (50%) role. Career suicide? Will it work or will I end up doing 2 jobs?

like

Paytm: can i copy your homework ?
Ola: Yes but don't make it too obvious
Paytm: sure.

Post Photo
funnylike

Hi Fishes, If I join Bank of America (BA Continuum) on October 1st, will I be eligible for hike in coming appraisal. Bank of America BA Continuum India Pvt. Ltd.

like

Favourite Super Bowl spot?

like

Do a lot of seniors in the advisory groups work weekends? I am coming from a group that has busy seasons sometimes we don't get a day off for a few weeks before the deadline. 80-100 hour weeks for me.

like

Can someone recommend affordable health insurance? I left the firm earlier and am expecting a gap of medical coverage until I find a job. Currently not actively seeking either...

How common is it for a firm to contribute to an HSA on an employee’s behalf, and what is the largest contribution you’ve seen that an employer gives?

like

Any designers here experienced with the Masters program at UWash? Looking for testimonials since it's the most expensive option on my list right now (I do have cheaper options, considering all tho)

I'm floating away 🍕🍔🍩

Post Photo
likefunny

Stuck on a tech implementation for 18 months now. Part of me wants to quit my job, but a big reason I am anxious to do so is how pivotal my knowledge and experience is to the success of the project.

like

Any thoughts on the best certifications to get in order to help move forward? I have considered the CCP from World at Work, but it’s fairly pricey to get by the time you wrap up everything. I was looking at both SHRM-CP and SPHR. Everyone that I have spoken to has the SHRM, but that’s also only looking at individuals in a small geographic footprint and within 3-4 different companies. I was hoping to get some thoughts on this from others? Thanks

Hi Fishes,

Can someone please tell me the in hand salary of the below offer . I am just confused by the PF thing.

Post Photo
like

Openings at OpenText

DM me or send a mail to
referralhelp.op@gmail.com.

Please mention YOE, preferred location(blr/hyd), tech stack and the job id.

For other openings visit the career portal
https://careers.opentext.com/go/India/2619917/

Post Photo
like

What is salary fo ther quality analyst and software process training clients total experience 4 yrs

like

I have an idea for a live session. What if we have people recommend their favorite brands. We purchase them and then discuss? It could be like a book club but for liquor. At the close of each session we can select the next top 3 recommendations and so on and so forth? 🥃

likesmartuplifting

Recruiters, is it a red flag if a potential candidate’s previous job experience is as follows:
Job 1: 1.5 years
Job 2: 2.5 years
Job 3: 2.5 years

like

Additional Posts in Consulting

For those who have heard of it, what do you all think of the D2i program?

like

Deloitte peeps (especially federal travelers): what's the policy if your flight home is delayed? Can you expense a hotel/per diem for Friday?

Have the Big 4 raised their initial post-MBA salaries to somewhat match the recent MBB offer changes?

like

Can I swap laptop models without a reason? I hate my HP and would prefer one of the thinner lenovos..

like

About to jump on night calls. Life of an analyst. 🙃

like

Serious question: Sheraton cancelled my reservation and I was stranded for a night last night. Called CS and my useless ambassador and they cant help and “sorry”. How do I escalate this?

like

Maybe this is a dumb question, but thoughts on IBM right now? Got a call today from a recruiter for SAP OCM position (managing consultant ). Said they’re hiring a bunch but then I see layoffs. Huh?

likehelpful

Do you have to return the sign on bonus if you get laid off, sign on period (2 years) has not yet passed. I would also like to know the firm's severance policy.

like

All I want to do is curl up in bed with hot tea and a good book. Recommendations for if I ever achieve said dream?

like

Book recommendations for a vacation?

like

Tips on controlling yourself when getting accused/experiencing negativity? I keep wanting to slash back but know that it will only make things worse

like

I find myself struggling the explain things with the same eloquence as my colleagues. How can I improve my consulting speak? Any recommended books?

like

Waking up for a 6 am flight and realizing you managed to lose your earbuds between now and when you left the office 6 hours ago. Smh

like

We use Deloitte India for a number of parts of our delivery. Recently I have seen some unethical practices that violate labor laws and do not align with Deloitte principles. My manager says it isn’t my problem as they are a vendor but I can’t help thinking I have an ethical responsibility to do something. Any advice as to how to approach this without being fired?

likehelpful

Some construction work going on in the room next to me at 11pm central time here at the Westin! How many points is this worth?

like

Why is Private Equity such a popular career choice when asked about here?

like

"Girl, I can make you pivot."

like
like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal