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Yes! Do it. This is the one time you can take that break in a 30 year or so career without it being questioned. The time with children goes by so fast. Don't miss it for work. The work will always be there. Kids are only babies for a brief moment.
I took 14 weeks several years ago, didn't change my progression at the firm. I am extremely happy I made the decision and have never regretted it for a second.
How is taking all 16 weeks abusing it?
^Is spending time with your newborn child, sharing parental responsibilities with your wife who carried the baby for 9 months and went through child birth necessary? Umm yes.
If you get 16, you take 16. You really think lying on your deathbed you'll be thinking "man, I really wish I didn't spend all that time with my newborn"
Do it! You'll also help other men behind you.
Manager should be fine. It's those of us under manager that get effed
You guys make it seem like being home with a newborn is a cake walk. My coworker took paternity leave and would occasional come to work since it was a break compared to being home.
Yes definetly. If your job doesn't understand you shouldn't work for them honestly.
You know.. shit would be different if men had to push a melon out of a hole the size of a grape. Childbirth is exhausting. Nursing is exhausting. Then having to watch the child as it is awake when you are exhausted, and havung household chores on top of that, it is just mind numbingly exhausting. This is why men should have paternity leave. To give the moms a break even if it is only for a 15 minute shower.
OP, talk to your coach. Could you take 12 weeks at birth, and the rest of the weeks during baby's first 6 months? Or you have to take everything at once? Do you talk to your team about the baby/ seem very excited? If you are, I'm sure everyone will understand. Especially if you'll mention that you plan to take over night shift so that your wife can get a good night sleep :))
Lol @OP you're nowhere close to Partner buddy. At least 6 years away, and then there's all the internal politics of a potential admission into the partnership. I wouldn't be worried about that at this point tbh.
^I can't respect a man whose views are from the 1950's
Why is there this weird standard that men don't have to help raise their children? This is part of the reason I'm not having children, I'm not going to raise it by myself.
Boomers are the worst generation. Entered the workforce with a booming economy and affordable housing market. Had no college debt because their parents all paid for it. Were able to work and buy a home relatively early while saving and paying nothing towards loans. Then they subsequently fucked up the economy, destroyed the housing market, created massive income inequality, created multiple asset and housing bubbles, and made college damn near unaffordable. Now millenials come into the workforce paying off college loans and paying sky high rents that don't allow us to save and buy homes en mass like our boomer parents. Then they bitch about how much millenials complain.
Just anecdotal, but the two managers in my office each took 3 weeks. I can't imagine the full 16, but maybe 4-5, even 6, would be fine if you could work a little here and there. It's really too bad that those "perks" are just for show... good luck!
If your partners/manahers have lids, they will understand the excitement of a first time parent. Take the full 16 weeks however you want to takenthem. If you want to take them all at once, then do so. If you have the ability to spread them out and you want to do that, then go for it. You won't ever regret taking the time to spend with your child,. You will regret not spending enough time with your child when you had the ability to do so.
So are you asking that in 6 years is someone going to look back and say "man this guy sure is Partner material but he took 16 weeks that we gave him to be with his kid. Ya fuck this guy. No partner!"? I think that's ridiculous and far fetched.
I can't respect a man that takes four months off work bc his wife gave birth. Call me old fashioned. Two weeks is plenty
Also why the fuck would you be looking for reasons not to take all 16? Nothing you do in this life matters, you die anyways, so why spend any time more than you have to working? And not forming a bond with your child?!?! Like nothing matters, but relatively, the bond with the kid is way more fufilling.