I’m currently managing a project where the Product Manager and the Lead Designer are exes, and my life has become a high-stakes telenovela. Every single roadmap meeting turns into a passive-aggressive debate about user flows that feels way too personal. The rest of the engineering team just sits there on mute. Should I take this straight to HR?

likefunnysmart
Posting as :
works at
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Talk with to the individuals first. Going directly to HR as a first step is poor form. HR isn’t there to protect you, they exist to mitigate risk for the org.
Your situation is exactly why people shouldn’t date colleagues.

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So, quick question for clarity: are they your exes, or are the Product Manager and Lead Designer former couples who are now exes?

The context is important. I believe if I’m reading it right, it's the latter, but I see some comments going both ways.

likefunny

This is a more common workplace dynamic than anyone ever wants it to be. Keep your head down, enjoy the irl soap opera, and start looking for your next gig. It’s not worth getting involved and it probably isn’t the last time you’ll see this shake out. It gets more boring the more times you see it happen, I promise.

funny

1. You’ve dated your colleagues, now work your way up the food chain and date the CTO. Current problem will be sorted. 

2. Learn the age old adage to ‘Never dip your quill in the corporate ink well.’

~ (Posted with tongue in cheek.)

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have your popcorn ready

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They'll get back together and you'll see what fresh new telenovela you're up for. If cutlery or other metal isn't being introduced, head low, feet moving. Never take a side.💙☮️

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