I'm having issues with a male coworker that have made me uncomfortable but I'm nervous about talking to my manager(F). It's nothing super serious but a lot of stacking comments and behavior. I was talking IO about my plans to get another dog next year, and my male coworker said: "You should get a spouse, not a dog." He also often shuts me down in team Zoom meetings by saying that something like that "needs to go offline", even though I am merely responding to a question that has been asked.

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The next time he makes a comment like that tell him that is inappropriate and switch back to the topic at hand in the next sentence, essentially dismissing him. Do this a few times and see if he still continues.

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MMM I would not like that either OP and I do not blame you for feeling uncomfortable. I would make sure that you document everything and talk to your manager or HR. Its probably going to continue and I would shut it down before it gets worse. I am sorry you are going through that.

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If someone makes a comment suggesting you need a spouse, you should tell them to mind their own business. Or, if that seems too strident, ask them, in front of people, what makes him think he has any right to say something like that. Put him on the spot and make him squirm.

I literally left my job for this exact reason. I’m a black and Mexican woman in TN. Imagine. An older, white male advisor made comments numerous snide comments, both sexist and racially motivated. When I did something MY BOSS asked me to do, he flipped out and went as far as calling me b!tch. I’d recommend documenting E V E R Y T H I N G. Trust your intuition and that he is treating you poorly and specifically in a way that he doesn’t seem to treat others. Management addressing him should fix it, and if not, you might have grounds for a harassment lawsuit.

You need to report this

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