Is it common for grandparents to fly in for the 1st day of school? My son is starting school in the Fall and my mom is hell bent on flying in and being there. Part of me wants to have this moment with him alone, just me and daddy/husband. Am I being mean/selfish/bratty if I tell her “no”. Is this really a thing and I just missed the memo? Any advice? I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I also can’t shake my feelings.

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I’ve never heard of this. You should feel free to say no. Or suggest something else - like maybe she wants to visit for the “last weekend of summer”?

likesmart

Never heard of this, but boomer grandparents have been steadily encroaching where no grandparent had gone before. When I was a kid my grandparents weren’t even at my birthday parties. Thought was, why would any adult choose to be at a party at a skating rink with 30 kids?

likefunny

Good point, really 🤔

FLY in? No. I have never heard of this, not to say that it’s not a thing. I’m a sample set of one. In my experience, this isn’t a milestone celebrated outside of immediate family but if my mom had wanted to come to my daughter’s first day, I would’ve welcomed it. Having recently lost my grandmother, I cherish the memories of her being there for special moments so I think about it differently now when my mom (and esp in-laws) ask to be a part of things I’d rather keep to the family unit. Do they annoy me? God yes. But my kids love having them around. Doesn’t mean I always say yes, of course. As a natural introvert this has been a HARD shift to make.

All that said, everyone has different relationship with their parents and I can’t say what’s right for your family. You’re not wrong, whatever you decide. But consider what this milestone marks: your child becoming a person in the world outside of the immediate family unit and developing their own agency and identity. With that in mind, maybe ask your kiddo if they’d want their grandma there?

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My mom would always flew in for the birthdays but never heard of a first day of school thing.

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I’ve never heard of this or seen “1st day of school” photos with grandma.

Make up a holiday so your mom can have something special, but def save the day/moment for your husband and you if your gut is telling you you want it. She’s over the line, but give her something bc life is short and love is to be celebrated.

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