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Rising Star
11/27 Check In 🙌🙌 What’s everyone up to today?
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Longest dry spell? Single people only!
Why are relationships so difficult!!!
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Wait - he's a Christian, never been married, but has two kids. Is it me, or is something off here? Are the two kids with the same woman that he didn't marry? Was she a Christian too? Also, what are your ages?
Out of curiosity, why do you assume someone who had children out of wedlock (a past event) can’t or isn’t a Christian (current event)?
I see tons of red flags here (my creds: I'm middle-aged, been married twice (very happily now), seen it all at this point) -- his weight comment is problematic (leaves the door open for him to decide at some point that your curves are in the WRONG places), doesn't want to talk on the phone because he's shy, has told you in depth about his struggles and troubles after only 1 week (a great way to reel someone caring in and potentially scam them). As a mom and a fellow woman, do not meet him in person until you speak on the phone and also have a video call -- and PLEASE, PLEASE, bring someone with you if you meet him in person, even if they just stay in the car while you meet in a public place. Be safe above all else. This is going way too fast, and it way too easy to lie/concoct stories to reel someone in by text.
I agree with you, too many red flags. If you meet him in person, have someone there with you that he doesn't suspect is with you, maybe arriving earlier to where you are to meet. If he keeps coming up with reasons as to not being able to meet you, he is fake.
I spent 41 yrs in a valley inhabited by demons before getting saved, during that period I ran from God, tried to hide from God, bargained with God, fought God, and most of the time I was angry with God. Nobody is born perfect, we all make mistakes, we all sin and we all have our reasons for that. My best advice to you would be to take it to God rather than ask for advice from strangers who have know real intimate knowledge of the situation. Quiet the noise and Pray, pray, pray and when you think God gave you the answer pray some more. If you do that with an open and honest heart God will reveal His answer to you. God has taught me enough times that He prefers us to always talk to Him before relying on the advice of others.
BP Sales EMEA 1, since God can be neither proven nor disproven, you cannot factually and objectively say God is a myth. Thats where peoples’ faiths come into play, to bridge the gap. You either trust that God does or does not exist. But just because you think (strongly, it seems) God doesn’t, you shouldn’t impose your beliefs on someone else when, again, you can’t back up your statement with facts and objectivity.
Red flags is an understatement. This "guy" is a scammer.
You haven't even spoken on the phone yet? After maybe two or three chats, if a relationship or even just dating is the goal, you should already be at least talking on the phone. Normally, he'd be chomping at the bit, asking to talk on the phone after or during the first exchange.
How have you been chatting? Only on the dating app? I think he said you had his number. Have you been texting? Via real phone, or WhatsApp, or some other messaging platform? Even if you're just texting, if you're not communicating by a real cellphone, it's questionable (but Google Chat, TextNow, etc, also are easily used by scammers).
You posted a direct quote from him: " "i do need to tell you something..." If that was a direct quote, it's also suspect. OK, it's a little better than most scammers, but it definitely reads like someone who doesn't speak English as a first language: "...be unintentional towards you..."? Sounds like bad Google translate.
Press him to meet. I'll bet he'll find excuses and never actually meet up. Don't be surprised if he agrees to drive to you, then conveniently is stuck somewhere needing you to send him $20 for emergency gas. I was going to say, whatever you do NEVER send him money of any kind for any reason. You said you bought his book? Was it after that that he suddenly gave you the let's be friends speech?
You did mention that you are a bit full figured. I assume you have a picture on the dating app? He may have targeted you, thinking you'd be vulnerable.
I'm curious to know how this has ultimately played out for you, but in any case, be careful, and don't send any money!
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Im not in contact with him anymore. I bought his book that he wrote this weekend, but I plan on returning it
Pro
Meet in person sooner rather than later. Texting for a long time tends to build up too much potential on both sides
IF they meet, I would sure hope he would make the drive or at least meet halfway. In my experience, knowing what i know NOW, I will never date anyone more than 30 mins away.
Why do you need so much attention?
what a rude and ridiculous thing to say
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(CONTD) He said he's looking for a wife, has never been married, & has 2 kids. I am also looking for marriage & have never been married before.
Also, i asked him his dealbreakers, he said "body" & a few others. I told him "im a curvy, thick gal with a booty, thick thighs, and hips. So I don't know if that's your type like how it shows in one of my profile pics."
Then he said, " "yes I seen. I like curvy as long as it’s in the right places 😍 ." I dont even know what means. Anyways, he lives like an hour and 30 mins away; so would you still meet up with someone who you're atrracted to if they say they like a "woman who is curvy in all of the right places"--even though you told him that you have thick thighs, a booty, and hips?" Idk what to do at this point. I like the fact that he is a believer of God, wants marriage, kids, is family oriented, intelligent, etc.
ok just read part two:
i feel a true Christian would not be so focused on "body". 90 mins away...hmm..he isn't worth it. TRUST ME.
You are either being prepared for a scam, or this is simply the wrong person for you.
I’m Christian and unfortunately being Christian is not automatic proof of good character. It is meant to be though.
The stories about his children may also be setting up a future emergency involving illness, an accident or money.
Do not tell him to prove himself or threaten to leave. That only gives him time to improve the story. Just stop replying. I would even say block him but it will be fun to see his true self when he realises his mark is gone. He'd likely move to aggression and insults. That's when you block him.
I met my husband online, so I know online relationships can work. But we spoke within days, video-called within days and met in person by week three.
Online love can carry you away very quickly. Well done for asking for opinions before going any further.
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Well here is what happened on Tuesday. He texted me and said just "I do need to tell you something. I don't want to lead you on or anything and be unintentional towards you. I just dont feel an attraction and hope you can understand. If you'd still like to chat about the Lord Jesus then im all ears and you have my number--if not then I understand." I guess I'm just super confused because he liked some of the pics I texted to him and said I was "fine" and sent hearteye emojis to some of my pics I sent him. I'm so lost right now. Like if he wasnt attracted, then why like my pics and say I was fine?
So what the heck was the point in him saying that "not to jump to conclusions, but I think we would have really cute kids" if he wasn't really attracted to me then?? Also, I kind of feel bad because he said he would be open to talking about Jesus with me and being friends, but I will understand if you don't want to."
I do recall him saying how he doesnt have any friends because he talks about Jesus alot. But if he was intending on just trying to be a friend with me, then why didn't he just say he was "just looking for friends?" I never get rejected like this.
This one kind of hurt because we talked everyday for a week and thought we were close to meeting up with each other. Also, I even bought his Bible study book he wrote to support him. Should I send it back? Now im just wondering how im going to recover from this one. I feel even more vulnerable getting back online to date now and putting myself out there.
lol this sounds messy and I’m here for it 🍿
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Messy because of what
He’s 0/2 on proposing marriage to two women he has had a child with? Is my understanding correct?
If so unless you are looking for a baby daddy, who will give you zero support bailout now!
I agree with almost everyone. As someone who liked to text to get to know someone, for me it weeded out potential upsets before actually meeting (even though it took a little longer). But if you are someone who wants to get right to the point, go for it (meet halfway). Don’t worry about the weight comment but know it could be important to him based on how reacts when you meet him. See how that goes then if you want more opinions, reach out again :)
And from earlier comments, that’s possibly quite a bit !
Sm 1 i agree with you. Op sounds so insecure and needy.
You are flirting with disaster and disappointment. If you would like to meet a "Christion Guy" I suggest going to a Christion Church. If you would like to meet a misogynistic douchebag continue on with this one.
Please. Christian men in church are some of the worst a-holes out there! They are going to church to FIX themselves and most ain't fixable!
First of all, I am a Christian married woman and I believe praying to God and asking for his direction in your life is key. Please keep in mind that all of us can say anything in a text, especially if it means getting on someone's good side. You should definitely talk with him first and ideally a video call so that you both can get confirmation that the other is real and not AI generated. In the call, I recommend that you also refer to some of your previous text questions and conversations to see if he answers the same way on the call. It would also help to see if he answers the same way or differently. One major area of questioning would be the circumstances behind his two children since he states that he has never been married. How old are they, does he have a relationship with them and does he pay child support?Based on how the video chat goes, each of you can make a decision if you want to go to the next step and meet in person. I agree 100% that you should take someone with you either on the frontline or in your peripheral as a safe guard. If you don't already know, find about his career/job status and if he does NOT have a full-time job, I would be concerned. Please, please, whatever you do, do NOT offer or give him any financial support, even if he says he is in dire need and/or he will pay you back!!!!! I would tell him the same about you.
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Well the guy & I are no longer talking. He just told me on Monday, "i do need to tell you something. I don't want to lead you on or anything and be unintentional towards you. I just dont feel an attraction and hope you can understand. If you'd still like to chat about the Lord Jesus then im all ears and you have my number--if not then I understand." I guess I'm just super confused because he liked some of the pics I texted to him and said I was "fine" and sent hearteye emojis to some of my pics I sent him. I'm so lost right now. Like if he wasnt attracted, then why like my pics and say I was fine??
So what the heck was the point in him saying that "not to jump to conclusions, but I think we would have really cute kids" if he wasn't really attracted to me then?? Also, I kind of feel bad because he said he would be open to talking about Jesus with me and being friends, but I will understand if you don't want to."
I do recall him saying how he doesnt have any friends because he talks about Jesus alot. But if he was intending on just trying to be a friend with me, then why didn't he just say he was "just looking for friends?" I never get rejected like this.
This one kind of hurt because we talked everyday for a week and thought we were close to meeting up with each other. Also, I even bought his Bible study book he wrote to support him. Should I send it back? Now im just wondering how im going to recover from this one. I feel even more vulnerable getting back online to date now and putting myself out there.
Fake BOTS
So many ppl judging the man without actually conversing with him. Before ppl try bashing his Faith maybe they should look in a mirror.
Matthew 7:3-5
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s
I have been on the dating apps and I had a man also did not want to talk on the phone then I told him finally after 2 weeks if you don't call me I will not text you anymore then comes to find out I recognized his voice from Nigeria Africa because I have a coworker with the exact same voice our Janitor then he finally confessed he was not American after I told him he was lying to me then I called off everything for starting off lying to me about his description no blue eyes and no blond hair like he put on his description with a fake profile picture
Do Not.i repeat do not choose an online boy I can tell you for free that boy will break your heart
Yep too many women for them to choose from!
Ask him about his relationship with Jesus, sex before marriage and how he feels about kids. That'll tell you everything
RUN! As far and as fast as you can. He's a Nigerian prince
Beware the "Christians" on the dating apps! LOL!