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I am not ok.
I’m white.. and a man. Shhh, don’t tell anyone.
I have over 20,000 unread emails in my inbox.
In Soviet Russia, bathroom smell YOU
I make poor decisions
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Quitting would make you a loser! Simply find a relative or friend with kids, and photoshop your face over the dad’s. And then as those kids grow, you’ll have access to more pics to prove your story. As a loving parent and spouse, you’ll be on the fast track to the next promotion. This grift should carry you well into retirement.
If you want to tell your colleagues the truth, then just do it.
If I was your colleague, I wouldn't care. Are you good at your job? Are you a good person? Have you hurt anyone?
I wouldn't think anything of it gonestly.
Maybe she left and took the kids and it’s complicated and you don’t want to talk about it 😂
Trust no one wants to hear your problems.
You’re going to have to get a divorce.
You need the help of Nathan Fielder
When I first read this comment, I didn’t get it. Didn’t even know who this person was. But, I was too lazy to look it up.
Then, tonight, I decided to watch a random docu-style show on HBO with an interesting premise called “The Rehearsal”. After binging a few episodes, I came all the way back here just to say agreed and I’d watch the -ish out of that episode. Because I really want to see how this turns out.
There’s a website that will create fake photorealistic people for you (as long as no one looks too closely at their earlobes, anyway). You could use that, and whenever you are caught/come clean, create a case study of how far AI can actually go.
https://thispersondoesnotexist.com
Oy vey. New job?
Yea lol
Kinda seems like the cleanest option is to just fake your own death and start over.
Kill them off in a tragic accident in another country?
This feels like the start of a Lifetime or Hallmark rom com. So, now, you just need to find someone desperate for some monetary sum. Or, their big break in advertising. Then, trade with them.
They pretend to be your wife for a set amount of pictures and events. You get them their break, or monetary sum. Then, as an added bonus, you’ll eventually fall in love and realize it was the real thing the whole time.
Admittedly, I don’t know if this is the best plan. But, it is how Hollywood would solve this problem and it seems to work out pretty well. With the exception, of course, being the big climax moment where your lie is exposed to everyone at your company. But, that’s just the price you have to pay for true love.
Either he’s exposed or him and his fake wife fall in love and he gets everything he ever wanted.
You invented a fictional family to NOT look like a loser? 😳
No judgment, hoss, honestly; I hope it works out for you.
Lol I was British for six months because an accent came out of nowhere during an interview and client meetings soo….
People at work think i have a kid because I post a lot with my godson. You gotta keep the fib going and report back. Make it interesting.
There’s a whole fictional family Barney created in How I Met Your Mother and he had to hire actors to keep things going
I honestly have no words. WHY?!
Lol I have a friend who divorced her husband over this
I say we take off and nuke the planet from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
they all left you because you were overworked. then died in a car crash.
She ran off with your brother (bonus points if he’s also fictional), and the kids don’t realize he’s not you because they’ve taken them to a free range cult / community for reprogramming. And you’re too crushed to talk about it so let’s just leave it there…
Kill your fictional family, cash in on time off for grieving
Take out an insurance policy on them first!
Photoshop